If Only
by Lady Artemis
Summary: The night Dick left Gotham destroyed Barbara's life. Two years later, she is finally moving on with her life. But then, an unexpected visitor changes everything . . .
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** After seeing the "Old Wounds" episode, I wondered what Barbara had felt that night. I also thought about what might happen when Dick came back. The few episodes that touched the subject did not really satisfy my curiosity. I was curious as to what happened AFTER that. This fic deals with how I think things happened when Dick came back. This first part is on how Barbara felt and her regrets about the night Dick left.

**Prologue**

It was a clear night in Gotham. The moonlight spilled through the buildings, giving the city an eerie glow. The stars shined overhead, looking down at the sleeping city. But not all were asleep. The night always brought out the crooks, burglars, and big time criminals. They anticipated the moments when the last rays of sunlight would disappear over the horizon of Gotham Harbor. Darkness was welcomed and they would go about doing their dirty deeds. But, they were not alone tonight. They were never alone any night. They knew this well and feared the 'pointy eared' shadow that would sweep down, cape flying, and stop them when they least expected it. Many of them would wince at the mere mention of his name. Batman. That one word sent a chill down the spine of every criminal in Gotham City. Well, not every criminal. There were a handful of them who had given the Bat his share of trouble. Many had come close to bringing an end to him. But close is not enough. Especially when dealing with the dark knight.

Batman crouched on the edge of a rooftop, peering up at the tall skyscraper looming across the street. His eyes narrowed before he stood up and turned to the figure crouched beside him.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked me quietly.

I stood up, the moonlight illuminating the yellow bat on my chest. My red hair whipped out behind me as a strong gust of wind blew. I looked at Batman for a moment before turning to look up at the rooftop of the skyscraper.

"If I'm not ready now, I'll never be ready", I replied.

I turned back to him and smiled. My hands went to my suit's utility belt and I pulled out a grappling hook.

- _Ok, Barbara, you can do this. You've done this hundreds of times. Just breathe and_ _relax_ -

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Then I slowly raised the grappling hook, ready to fire it.

"Shall we?" I asked confidently.

But, I felt anything but confident. I was nervous. It had been so long since I had done this that I was worried I had forgotten. Then there was the fact that he might show up. I wasn't sure if I could face him. I had no idea what I would say to him.

Batman nodded and pulled out his own grappling hook. Two short bangs echoed as we shot our grappling hooks upward. Once the grapples were secured, we leaped off the building together, capes flying out behind us as we flew up into the night.

As soon as I felt the wind whistling in my face, all my worries were left behind. If only for a few moments, they were forgotten. I had almost forgotten how good it had felt to fly. Almost forgot how amazing the adrenaline rush was, the confidence it gave me. But I longed to have the reassuring familiar red and green figure flying beside me. And for a moment, I was scared. But, I choose to hide it. I needed to concentrate now.

- - - - - -

The wind rushed at my face as I fell. My hair and cape whipped wildly around me. But, I couldn't see the sidewalk getting closer by the second. And I couldn't reach the grappling hook in my utility belt. I was knocked out and plummeting to my death.

The next moment strong arms grabbed me and I was lifted upwards. My eyes blinked open to see a red and green clad figure holding me tightly. When we landed on a neighboring rooftop, I swayed on my feet as I rubbed my sore head. Then I glanced at my rescuer. My heart gave a sudden lurch as I looked into Robin's eyes.

It was so different, looking at him and knowing. Knowing who was underneath the mask. Knowing that it was the man I loved that put his life at risk everyday, protecting the city. But, I had always felt so unusually comfortable around Robin. Maybe, deep down, somehow, I had known. But facing the truth was much harder. I could see the hurt in his eyes. Dick's eyes. Now I knew why those eyes had always felt so familiar.

"Thanks", I said, managing a weak, awkward half-smile.

The tension between us was too much for me to bear and I turned to leave. I wish I hadn't.

- _I should have talked to him_ -

I felt a hand grab my arm. I turned to look him in the face.

"Wait, we need to talk", he said desperately.

I looked at him for a moment. I wanted to talk to him so badly. There was so much I needed to tell him. But, Batman was up there, alone. He needed our help. Talking would have to wait.

"Not now, he needs us", I replied.

I immediately regretted saying that as I watched Robin's eyes narrow at the word 'he'. At that moment those eyes were no longer Dick's, they were too angry, there was so much hate in them. A flicker of concern flashed across his face, before he set his jaw, a determined look now on his face.

- _Had it really gotten that bad between them?_ -

He gave me a quick nod, before taking out his grappling hook. He fired it and leapt off the building without so much as a glance back at me. My shoulders slumped and I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me.

- _What have I done?_ -

I slowly took out a grappling hook and fired it.

- - - - - -

The three of us stood on a rooftop, watching the police take in the Joker and his men. Dawn was nearly upon the city and the night sky was a bit lighter now in anticipation. A cool breeze swept over the rooftops, catching our capes and my hair.

I could feel the tension between them. I glanced from Batman to Robin; hoping one of them would say something . . . anything.

- _Please, just let them talk it out_ -

For now I knew the reason for all of Dick's pain. Now I knew why he had come to me that night, pleading with his eyes. Pleading for me to understand something I wasn't supposed to know. Now I knew why he had pushed me away so many times.

I don't remember who talked first. I don't even remember much that was said. But the words that were burned into my memory were the ones that still echoed in my ears. Those I would remember forever.

"Batgirl, I can't believe it. How could you keep something like this from me?" his eyes were so accusing.

_- He's so angry -_

"You weren't exactly honest either", I countered.

His eyes narrowed, "But you told _him_".

"He already knew!" I said in an attempt to defend myself.

_- He needs to believe me – _

"Why didn't you tell me?" demanded Dick. For now it was Dick who was speaking to Batman, not Robin.

"It wasn't my place to tell you", Batman replied calmly.

- _How can he be so calm?_ –

"But it was your place to put her in danger", growled Dick.

I felt like if the whole world were turned upside down. I was trembling underneath my costume.

- _Get yourself together Barbara_ -

I finally got the nerve to speak.

"It wasn't like that. I volunteered", I explained.

"You think you did. You don't know him like I do. He manipulates. Pulls strings. Anything to get what he wants", snapped Dick.

I was shocked by the amount of anger he held in his voice. He had never talked to me like that. And it frightened me.

Bruce took a step towards Dick, "I thought we had the same goals".

"Things change. I changed. The game's over Batman. I quit", Dick sneered.

My fears came true in the awful moment that Dick punched Batman square in the face. Batman fell backwards onto the ground. And as he lay sprawled there, Dick ripped off his mask and cape and threw them at Batman's feet.

I gasped when he punched Batman.

- _Oh my god. He just hit Bruce_ -

It had all sounded so final. I barely recognized Dick's face. It was so full of pain, so cold. Nothing like the Dick I knew. But even at that moment, I still loved him.

I just stood there in shock as Dick gave Batman one final glare before storming to the edge of the rooftop. I will always hate myself for just standing there, watching as he jumped of the edge of the roof, firing his grappling hook in mid-flight. I was just so shocked at what had just happened that I couldn't move. The trembling turned into shaking.

- _I should go after him. I should try to talk to him_ -

But I didn't. After he left, Batman got up and put a hand on my shoulder before leaving silently. I stood there a few moments, deciding what to do.

- _I have to talk to him. But, I can't go to him like this. I have to face him as Barbara, not as Batgirl_ -

So I decided to go home and change first.

I should have gone to his dorm right away. I might have been able to stop him

But, I was too late. He was gone when I got there. I hate myself for not getting there on time.

I went through so much anguish and pain that night. There were so many things I should have done. There was so much I wish I could take back. But, I can't. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life. No matter how much it hurts.

If only I had just told him.

- - - - - -

So, what do you think? READ AND REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


	2. Chapter 1: Moving On

**Summary:** Barbara tries to get on with her life two years after Dick's departure. Things had gotten pretty ugly, but she seems to have gotten things in perspective and made some important changes in her life. But something happens to Barbara one night on patrol, bringing the Bat Clan closer together.

**Chapter 1: Moving On**

I woke up in bed, sweating. I glanced at my alarm clock. It was 3:20 in the morning. Wiping the sweat of my forehead, I grabbed a glass of water from my nightstand. I took a sip before setting it down again.

- _God, it's been almost two years. Almost two years and I'm still having nightmares about it. I have to move on and stop living in the past. He's not coming back_ -

I threw off the covers, got out of bed, and walked to the bathroom. I flipped on the light and bent over the sink. I washed my face with cold water, and then looked at myself in the mirror. My auburn hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. My once bright and lively emerald eyes were now dull and full of sorrow. I was definitely paler than I had been two years ago. I was thinner too, although much more muscular.

- _You need to move on. If you don't, you're going to miss out on life. You can't keep on punishing yourself. It wasn't your fault. He was the one that ran away. Just get on with your life and enjoy it_ -

What a laugh. Move on? How was I supposed to do that? Two years ago I lost everything. All I had left now was Batgirl and my sorry excuse of a life. I had trained harder than ever after Dick left, perfecting every aspect of my skills. I had begged Bruce to take me as a pupil and sidekick. I watched him all the time, watching his every move. Hoping some of it would rub off.

I had immersed myself into my role as Batgirl. It had become more of an obsession than a passion. Not that I didn't have passion for it. I could not have more passion for Batgirl than I had. The obsession came from how much Batgirl had consumed my other life; the life that was supposed to be normal. I used my job at GCPD as a way to get more information on cases I had as Batgirl. I can't even remember how many times I had taken classified evidence from headquarters to analyze at the Batcave or how many times I had hacked into classified files on the GCPD database looking for leads.

But I would have done those things anyways. What really made it an obsession was that every waking hour I had away from work was spent either at the cave or out in costume patrolling. Sometimes I had gone for days without sleeping and hardly eating. My father had begun to worry because lets face it; I had not looked my best those days. He knew I was going through some sort of breakdown, but I never let him talk too much about it with me. Changing subjects became a talent to me.

With Bruce it was harder to dodge the questions because, well, it was Bruce. When Bruce wanted to know something, he found it out. So I began to avoid him out of costume. And we were distant with each other as Batman and Batgirl too. One thing we never talked about was Dick. The reason for that was easy. Neither one of us wanted to talk about it. We just didn't want to be reminded of the fact that he was gone.

I went downhill from there, if you think that was possible, until Bruce finally confronted me. He told me that I could not go out on patrol until I had slept for at least 24 hours and had eaten a good meal. From there on he laid down some new ground rules. He gave me a limit to my hours at the cave and on patrol. He forbade me to use my GCPD time to work on Bat related cases. Only in emergency cases was that allowed. He started taking me to some of his social events so I would get out of the house. He set me up on several blind dates with the sons of his socialite friends. Believe it or not, things got better.

The reason it had gotten so bad was that I had blamed myself for Dick leaving. I mean how do you forget someone that you still love? Someone you can't forget, no matter how hard you try or how many people tell you to. And that the reason you can't forget them is because you don't want to. Because deep down you think that they still love you too. And you feed on that thought until it consumes your life. All you can think about is them. Every breathing moment is for them and it hurts so bad you can't stop crying.

I finally had realized that Dick had left because he wanted to. Regardless as to why, he had chosen to leave. He could have stayed, but he didn't. That had been his choice. My choice was to forget about him and move on with my life. When I couldn't do that, I buried all emotion and memory of Dick deep down inside and moved on with my life. And here I was now; still not fully recovered from my year of torturing myself both physically and emotionally.

And I was still moving on.

- - - - - -

**Gotham** **Rooftops**

I grinned broadly as I flew through the air. I let go of my jumpline, flipping gracefully through the air to land perfectly on the rooftop of the Clock Tower. It was my favorite building in the city. It had the best view, even if it wasn't the tallest. Crouching on the ledge of the roof, I began my nightly patrol. It was the same every night. I started out at the Clock Tower and made my way east towards downtown, then I would continue eastward to the docks, sweep south to cover the banking district, and then make a final sweep back north to the very center of the city.

Sometimes I wondered how Batman had allowed me to continue on as Batgirl. I hadn't been exactly following the rules since . . . well, for a while now. It had gotten even worse when Tim joined us. Just seeing him in the Robin suit reminded me of Dick. Watching how much Tim enjoyed crime fighting, his passion reminded me so very much of Dick. But I had learned to be able to look at Tim as his own person and not as a shadow of Dick. And I had gotten my act together both in and out of costume. Batgirl was no longer a justice hungry vigilante willing to do anything for vengeance. Now I was able to draw the line and control myself. Batgirl was now a fair judge of the criminals she apprehended. I no longer set out on manhunts and just stopped the bad guys from doing bad things.

"Batgirl, we better get to the docks if we are going to stop that drug deal going down tonight", said Robin impatiently.

"Take it easy there, Bird-Boy, we got plenty of time", I answered in an amused voice.

Tim had only been with us for a few months, but he and I had grown very close. You could say that I had come to love him as my little brother, and that he looked up to me as a role model. The past few weeks had also brought Bruce, Tim, Alfred, and I closer as well. Looking after Tim and making sure he was brought up properly had turned us into a family of sorts. Perhaps it was not the most conventional one, but it suited us just fine.

I grinned as I watched Tim shift impatiently. I had to admit, his enthusiasm was really admirable. Although at times, he could get a bit annoying. But he was just a kid and was new at this, so I usually let it slide.

"All right, let's get down to the docks, it's almost midnight", I said.

Tim's face lit up as he reached for his grappling hook. He was off the roof before I had even started to reach for a grapple. I chuckled at the retreating form of Robin and jumped off the roof after him.

- - - - - -

**The Docks**

"Watch out!" I shouted.

Robin flipped away just in time to dodge a shower of bullets. He landed behind some wooden crates and ducked down to dodge yet another shower of bullets. He peeked through the cracks to see two of the drug dealers holding machine guns. He needed to get those guns away from them.

I ducked down to dodge a kick. I crouched down onto the ground and turned around swiftly, kicking a thug's feet out from under him. I barely had time to catch my breath before another guy came at me. I kicked him in the gut and then uppercut him under the chin.

Batman had just arrived and was already fighting the drug lord right beside me. Somehow, the guy had managed to twist one of Batman's arms behind his back with one hand. His free arm snaked its way around Batman's throat. It was obviously difficult for Batman to breathe, but he remained calm. I knew he could handle the situation perfectly fine and decided to go help Robin. I turned around to find an empty dock. I began searching for Robin.

"Robin? Where are you?" I called out frantically.

I heard bullets being fired from the other side of a large pile of crates. Fearing the worst, I scaled the crates at lighting speed and jumped down to the ground on the other side. At my feet lay two unconscious men with their machine guns lying on the ground beside them. I looked up to face a beaming Robin.

"Are you all right?" I asked.

Robin looked outraged, "I just took out two thugs with machine guns and all you have to say is 'are you all right'? Not even a 'good job, Robin'?"

"Sorry Kido, I'm just glad you're okay", I said gently.

Robin smiled gratefully at me, but his smile faded when he saw a man come up behind with a gun in his hand. Reading his face, I slowly turned around to face the man. I held up my hands to show him that I was unarmed, but he responded instead by slowly cocking his gun.

I swallowed hard and said in a soothing voice, "The Police are already on their way and Batman is just on the other side of those crates, so I don't think that's a very good idea".

The man only grinned and fired the gun at me. Robin gasped as my body jerked back with the force of the bullet. A horrified look came over his face as I fell to the ground and did not move.

"Nooooo!" Robin screamed.

Robin ran to my side and fell onto his knees beside me. He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up towards his face. He shook me gently at first, then harder. I responded by coughing uncontrollably. My breaths were coming in short gasps and Robin almost cried when he saw the puddle of blood forming underneath me on the ground.

I felt so tired. All I wanted to do was to sleep. Maybe then, the burning pain would go away. But, I couldn't sleep yet. I had to keep Robin safe. And that man was standing only a few feet away, gun still at hand. I gathered all the strength left in me and raised my hand to grab Robin's arm.

I took in deep breath, "Look out . . . gun"; I managed to say.

Robin looked up to see the man still pointing the gun at us. He crouched over me protectively and glared at the man. He stood up tall with his fists clenched. He looked back at the man with narrowed eyes.

"You'll pay for that", he said in an icy voice.

The man laughed, "Boy, who has the gun?" he asked as he raised the gun and cocked it.

Robin fell back into a fighting stance, waiting for the man to make his move. He had never been so scared in his life, but he had to keep Barbara safe, no matter what. The man had started to pull the trigger, when a shadow came out of the darkness and knocked him over. Moments later, the man lay unconscious against a crate.

Batman towered over the limp figure of the man for a second before moving swiftly to my side. He knelt beside me and checked me over quickly. He had a very worried look on his face that Robin did not like one bit. Suddenly, I went into another fit of coughing. A line of blood trickled from the corner of my mouth.

I took in a deep, wheezing breath, "How bad is it?" I asked Batman.

Batman remained silent. He glanced at Robin, signaling him to radio Leslie. Robin took out his communicator and flipped to Leslie's channel. Meanwhile, Batman picked me up gently and began carrying me as quickly as possible to the Batmobile.

"Leslie here" said a kind voice.

Robin ran to catch up to Batman, who was moving at a very fast pace, considering that he was carrying Batgirl.

"Leslie, this is Robin. We have an emergency. Batgirl's been shot".

A long pause passed, "How bad is she hurt?" Leslie asked in a very worried voice.

Robin made his way into the alley where the Batmobile was parked.

Robin held back the tears, "She's hurt pretty bad. I'm not sure really, but it looks bad", he said in a voice threatening to break down.

"Put Bruce on", commanded Leslie.

Robin walked over to Batman and held out the communicator to him.

"Leslie wants to speak with you", Robin said flatly.

Batman finished placing me into the passenger seat of the Batmobile and took the communicator. He took off his cape, handed it to Robin, and pointed at Batgirl.

"Keep her warm and don't let her fall asleep", he ordered.

Robin nodded silently before climbing into the car and sitting next to me. He arranged Batman's cape over my shoulders and started talking to me quietly.

"Don't you worry, you'll pull through this. You're strong and you're a fighter, so I just know you'll get through this", Robin whispered to me as he squeezed my hand.

I gave him a very small, weak smile, "I . . . I want you to know that . . . I am so proud of you", I said quietly, holding back a groan.

"Don't talk like that Babs. You're going to make it", he replied in a shaky voice.

We had been so deep into our conversation that we had hardly noticed that Batman had gotten into the Batmobile and started the engine. We remained silent as Batman raced through narrow alleys and took every shortcut he knew in the city. Soon, we were pulling up into Leslie's clinic. Batman screeched to a stop at the back entrance, opened the top, and jumped out. He scooped me up and hurried into the building. Robin followed closely after locking the car.

- - - - - -

**A Few Hours Later**

"The operation went well. I was able to extract the bullet easily. Barbara only suffered some minor damage to one of her lungs, but she lost a lot of blood, so she will have to take it easy for a while. And no more crime fighting for at least a few months, I won't have her risk reopening that wound. Is that clear Bruce? I am holding you responsible if anything happens to that girl", Leslie said.

"I understand Leslie. I'll put Alfred in charge of her. She can stay in one of the rooms at the Manor until she recovers completely", Bruce replied.

Leslie nodded approvingly, "You and Tim can see her now".

Bruce stood up and ran a hand through his hair. He was still in his Batman costume, but he had removed his cowl, which now hung from behind his neck. Tim was still in costume as well, with his own mask removed. He sat up fast when he heard Leslie say that they could finally see Barbara.

Bruce looked at Tim and motioned him to follow. They made their way down the hall to room number four. Bruce opened the door slowly and poked his head in. After a moment's pause, Bruce slid into the room, closely followed by Tim.

I was lying propped up on the bed by three pillows. There was an oxygen tube under my nose and an IV in my right arm. My hair lay around my face all matted and dirty. I was definitely not looking my best. I smiled weakly at my two visitors. Tim ran up to me and gave me a gentle hug. Bruce walked up to the bed and took one of my hands.

"I'm so glad you're okay, Babs", Tim said to me.

I placed a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to hug him, "So am I, Kido, so am I".

I turned to Bruce, who sat silently next to my bed. I squeezed his hand and motioned him to join in the hug. Bruce reluctantly bent down, only to be wrapped by two pairs of arms.

I was radiant, "I'm so glad I've got you two".

Tim grinned, "Does this mean I can call you Sis now?"

I laughed, "I think you should stick with Babs".

"Really? It just sort of slipped out tonight".

"Don't worry, it will be just be between you and me, Kido", I said, ignoring the look Bruce was giving me.

"Thanks Babs", said Tim, hugging me tighter.

"Hey, watch it!" I joked.

We both burst out laughing. Outside, Leslie watched happily. She was glad that Bruce had finally found a family of his own. She hoped this would help him open his heart to let others in. He really needed this.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

Wondering how things will change in the Bat Clan after this? If you are, the next chapter will satisfy your curiosity. Please Read and Review! Your opinions really matter to me and keep this fic going!

- Lady Artemis -


	3. Chapter 2: Old Wounds

**Summary:** A few weeks after her accident, Barbara gets sick of lying around the house doing nothing and explores the Manor. She comes across Dick's old room, opening old wounds and brining forgotten memories. To make matters worse, an unexpected visitor turns Barbara's world upside down.

**Chapter 2: Old Wounds**

"I told you Alfred, I can walk perfectly well on my own", I protested.

"Miss Gordon, that spill you took a few moments ago downstairs seems to make me think otherwise", said Alfred.

"It's just that I'm sick of being stuck in bed all day. I need to get out of my room!" I pleaded.

"Miss Gordon, I am certain that Master Bruce or young Master Timothy would be more than happy to take you outside when they return", he continued.

I pouted and sat down on my bed, "Fine, you win Alfred".

"I'm glad to hear that you agree Miss Gordon".

"Yeah, but don't expect me to agree much longer", I said under my breath.

Alfred walked out of the room, closing the door securely behind him.

I lay down on the bed, staring up at the ceiling for a few minutes before letting out a huge sigh. I was bored out of my mind. I sat up to think.

- _I don't care what Alfred says; I'm getting out of this room_ -

I stood up and walked uneasily out of the room.

I was slowly making my way down the hall, when I heard Alfred coming up the staircase. If he caught me now, I would never get out. I reached for the doorknob of the closest room and turned it. I slipped into the room just before Alfred walked into the hall. I watched through the half open door as Alfred walked past and up the flight of stairs that led up to the next floor. I sighed in relief.

After enjoying my success, I took a moment to look around the room I now found myself in. It was dark, and the only light came from the small amount of sunlight coming in from the half open window at the far end of the room. I felt my way around the bed and to the nightstand, where I felt a lamp. I turned the lamp on and light filled the room. As I looked around the room, I found looming in front of me on the wall, a familiar poster. It featured the Flying Grayson's in their final appearance at Gotham City. It had been my gift to Dick for Christmas long ago.

My hand dropped down to my side, knocking something to the ground. I bent over to pick it up. It was a picture frame. I turned it over to look at the picture. Smiling back at me was Dick, his arm wrapped tightly around my own shoulder. I looked so happy. That was because I was happy in that picture. And I had never felt that kind of happiness again. A tear rolled down my cheek onto the glass covering the picture.

A sudden noise from behind startled me and I dropped the picture. I turned around to see Bruce looking at me sadly. The tears were streaming down my face now. I wiped them with the back of my sleeve and picked up the picture. I placed it back on the nightstand before turning to face Bruce again.

I avoided his eyes, "I'm sorry . . . I just happened to come in here . . . I had no idea it was Dick's room".

He laid a hand on my shoulder, "There is no need to apologize, Barbara".

I nodded, more tears filling my eyes, "I'll just go back to my room now".

Bruce stopped me. I don't know why, but I threw myself into his arms, the tears running freely. I shook violently with each sob. Bruce just stood there, taking it all until I had calmed down. I finally let go and sat down on the bed.

I sniffed, "I loved him so much. It just hurt so much when he left like that. He never even said good-bye".

"He didn't say good-bye to any of us. Not you, not me, not Alfred. I guess he just needed some time to figure things out. I just thought he would have been back by now. We are all hurting Barbara, you're not alone in your pain", said Bruce reassuringly.

I looked up at him.

"How do you do it Bruce? I've tried so hard to repress all my feelings about this, but I just can't anymore. I want to move on, I really do, but I just can't. I don't know what to do".

Bruce sighed, "I understand that you loved him deeply Barbara, but you can't shut yourself out from the world. You have to accept things as they are and move on. You can't keep on punishing yourself like this. It is going to break you".

I turned away from him and looked out the window. My thoughts were racing around in my head.

- _He's right Barbara. You have to move on. It's time to let go, once and for all_ -

I turned back to face Bruce. I looked him in the eyes and held his gaze, studying him. Then, I looked down at the floor wiped away the remaining tears. I looked back up at Bruce.

"You know I can't do this alone. It's not going to be easy. But I will do my best", I said.

"We are all here for you, Barbara. I want you to remember that".

I smiled and nodded.

- - - - - -

**A Few Days Later**

My eyes fluttered open. The sunlight was pouring in from the open windows of the room. I smiled, realizing that Alfred had made an early visit. Yawning, I stretched out before throwing off the covers and jumping out of bed. Throwing on a robe, I slipped into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, I emerged in my robe, hair dripping onto the carpet. I walked up to the closet. I was going out with Christopher Soriano, an executive at Gotham International Bank. He and I had met at one of Bruce's social events. It wasn't like me to date someone like him. You know: rich, successful, handsome, and pretty much perfect in every way. I had never liked the idea of becoming part of the world of Gotham's elite, but I was trying new things, so why not?

After going through about all the clothes I owned, I took out a short, emerald green dress.

- _Dick always said this dress really brought out my eyes_ -

I shook my head.

- _There you go again Barbara. Forget Dick. Let it go already_ -

Sighing heavily, I stuffed the dress into my closet and took out a simple black one. I brushed my hair into a ponytail and put on a white pearl necklace and earrings. I stood in front of the mirror and smoothed out my dress. I smiled at my reflection.

- _You still got it_ -

- - - - - -

**The Batcave**

It had been almost a month since Bruce and I had our little talk. And for the first time in a long time, I felt happy. Things were going well with Christopher and me. Nothing too serious, but we had fun together. Work at the GCPD was definitely improving. And my nights as Batgirl where no longer filled with painful memories. I hadn't had any nightmares for weeks now. Yes, I was happy again.

"Watch your left side. Your defense is weak on that side", Bruce pointed out to Tim as they were sparring in the training ring.

I stood on the side with Alfred, watching. Bruce, Tim, and I were all wearing our judokas. Tim had a yellow belt, while Bruce and I both had black belts. I laughed as I watched Tim try desperately to knock Bruce down.

I don't know how, but I felt a sudden change in the air. Something was just different. My suspicions were confirmed when I felt Alfred tense beside me. But for some reason, I didn't stop watching Bruce and Tim. Alfred's next words made me stop breathing.

"Master Richard!" Alfred called out.

I spun around to look at the young man that had entered. I felt my heart stop. It was really him. He looked so different, and yet exactly the same. He looked good. I glanced back behind me and saw Tim looking at him curiously. I couldn't read the look on Bruce's face.

I could feel the tension in the air. I knew that Dick was waiting for a response. My response. I saw his ice blue eyes searching my face for a reaction. I just stood there, waiting for someone to say something.

His eyes never left mine. Why was he looking at me like that? I wished Bruce would say something, because I felt trapped. I wanted to say so many things, but I didn't know how to say them. I wasn't even sure how I felt or how I was supposed to feel about this for that matter. In a way, I was relieved he was back, because now we all knew he was okay. But of course, there was the lingering anger and resentment. I looked away from his gaze.

"Hello Bruce", Dick said, his eyes never leaving my face.

"Hello Dick", Bruce replied with absolutely no emotion in his voice.

"Hey Babs", Dick said gently.

I winced at the name mostly because of the voice saying it. The last time I had heard his voice had been that night. The last time he had called me that had been that night. I looked at him straight in the eyes and all that I felt was the sudden urge to hurt him. Badly. So I did what I knew would hurt him the most.

"Hello Dick", I said in the most casual voice I could manage.

I watched as his eyes fell. Had he expected me to greet him with open arms? No, he knew better than that. He knew I was trying to hurt him. And I was succeeding. But instead of feeling good about it, I only got a sick feeling in my stomach. I should have stopped there, but I continued my assault.

"How have you been? It's been a while", I said coolly.

"I'm doing good", he replied calmly, but I noticed the hurt in his eyes.

"Good to hear that", I replied. Then I turned to Bruce, "Maybe I should leave you two alone to talk?"

Bruce nodded. I walked up to Bruce and kissed him on the cheek before turning back to Dick.

"Maybe I'll see you around?" I asked, ignoring the surprised look on his face.

"Maybe", his eyes were giving Bruce a very cold look.

"See you around then", I said pleasantly.

"Yeah, see you around", he replied, his eyes still on Bruce.

I walked past the training ring, "Come on Tim, let's leave them alone" I called out.

Tim gave Dick and Bruce one last look before jumping out of the ring and following me out of the room.

"Who was that guy?" Tim asked curiously as we made our way back upstairs.

"Just an old friend", I answered.

"He didn't seem like just a friend to me", Tim replied.

I stopped and looked at Tim. He looked determinedly back at me. I could tell he wasn't going to back down. I sighed. It was time to tell him the truth. I owed him that.

"Dick was the first Robin. He is Bruce's ward and he used to live here at the Manor up until two years ago", I explained.

"Why did he leave?" asked Tim.

My eyes dropped, "You see, Dick and I were a couple back then and had been dating for over a year. When he found out that I was Batgirl, he felt betrayed because I didn't tell him. But, he was even angrier with Bruce for not telling him as well. He and Bruce had been having problems before and I suppose that was the last straw for Dick, so he left".

"But, did you know he was Robin?" Tim asked, a bit confused.

I looked at him sadly, "Sometimes things just happen Tim, and we don't always know why. I wish that Dick had seen that we both had kept it from each other for a reason, but he didn't. And sometimes you have to accept things and move on".

"I see", Tim paused in thought, "You loved him, didn't you?"

I was surprised by the question, "Yes Tim, I did".

"And did he love you?"

I thought for a moment before answering, "I thought he did Tim, but after what he did, I'm not so sure".

Tim looked at me intently, "Babs, do you still love him?"

That I definitely did not see coming, "I used to think I did Tim, but I moved on with my life. I couldn't keep on hoping that one day he would just show up and everything would be okay again".

"And now that he's back? It looked to me like he still cares about you".

- _What is this, an interrogation?_ -

I bit my lower lip, "I'm not sure. I wish I knew what was going to happen Tim, believe me, I do. It would make it so much easier. I just hope that . . . oh never mind", I said.

"Sure Babs", Tim replied.

- - - - - -

"Do you plan on staying long?" asked Bruce.

"I don't know", Dick answered.

"You don't know?" questioned Bruce.

Dick flinched under Bruce's glare, "Look, I came here to tell you that I was back in town. I don't know for how long. I'm renting a loft by the docks for now. I'm going to see how things work out and then maybe I'll find something more permanent", he explained.

Bruce's gaze softened, "Why don't you stay in the Manor?"

Dick gave Bruce a dark look, "I thought you would know why", he hissed out.

Bruce looked surprised, "It's not what you think Dick. It's not like that".

"Like hell it isn't!" Dick cut in.

Bruce glared at Dick quietly for a long time before speaking again.

"When you left, it destroyed her. It was like her spirit had been broken. For two years, she kept going downhill. I finally made her see that she had to move on. And then there was the accident . . . "

"What accident?" Dick asked severely.

Bruce didn't even flinch, "We were taking down a drug lord at the docks and things got out of hand. Batgirl took a bullet and we nearly lost her. She is still recovering from her wounds", he reported.

"But she looks fine", Dick said.

Bruce nodded, "Her injury was minor, but she lost so much blood . . . we almost lost her".

Dick looked at him coldly, "Where were you when this happened?"

"I was taking care of the drug lord, Batgirl and Robin decided to go after his men. Batgirl miscalculated the situation. I only just made it in time to save her", Bruce continued.

Dick's eyes flashed with anger, "She miscalculated? You blame her for what happened? God Bruce, you're unbelievable!" Dick shouted.

Bruce stood up tall, his eyes on fire; "My relationship with Barbara does not change anything in my relationship with Batgirl. As Batgirl, she is still under my orders. She is still my pupil", he said harshly.

Dick lowered his head, "When did this relationship happen?" he asked sadly.

Bruce raised an eyebrow, "I told you, there is nothing between us".

Dick looked at Bruce angrily, "You don't have to lie to me Bruce! What happened that she felt she had to go to you?" he shouted.

Bruce had had enough, "She finally accepted that you were not coming back!" he bellowed.

Dick looked outraged, "But I did come back!" he yelled, "I came back", he said hoarsely.

Bruce remained silent.

Dick looked hurt, "Why Bruce?" he asked.

But Bruce still remained silent.

Anger clouded Dick's eyes, "Fine! You can have her! You always get what you want anyways, don't you? I just hope she doesn't expect me to greet her with open arms when you break her heart. You always hurt them in the end Bruce, always", he sneered.

Bruce just stood there, his eyes dark and brooding.

Dick turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. He angrily climbed the stairs out of the Batcave and stormed into the living room. There she was, as beautiful as ever. But, he was much too angry with them to stop now. He saw me look up at him as he entered. A polite smiled graced my face.

"Are you leaving Dick?" I asked.

"Is he so much better Babs?" Dick spat out.

"What?" I asked in shock.

"IS HE SO MUCH BETTER?" he asked harshly.

My eyes narrowed. What I said next I did out of anger, I never really meant to say it.

"He's better than someone who leaves without saying good-bye and doesn't even send a post card for TWO YEARS! Two years Dick! For two years I worried if you were all right. For two years I kept hoping you would come back! But I got tired of hoping Dick; I was tired of chasing a shadow! At least he doesn't run away when things get bad!" I answered.

Dick laughed angrily, "That goes to show how well you know him Babs", he sneered, knowing how the nickname stung.

My eyes seemed to be on fire, "Yeah, well at least he's not a coward".

I knew that would hurt him the most. He visibly flinched as the words hit him.

Dick saw Bruce silently watching from the hall, "Well I hope you two are happy together!" he shouted at Bruce.

Then, walking up to Barbara until they were face to face, he whispered, "I could have loved you".

I stood there, still realizing what had just happened. I was staring at Bruce blankly.

- _What have I done? He thinks Bruce and I . . . oh my_ _god_ -

"Dick, you don't understand. You have this all wrong", I said, trying to explain.

Dick just stared at me, "Like hell I do. Save me the drama. I'll let myself out".

And with that, he stormed out of the room, slamming the front door and leaving the three, well four (Alfred had appeared out of nowhere) of us bewildered.

"That was not at all amusing Barbara", growled Bruce.

I was still staring at the door, "I didn't mean for things to get so out of hand".

"Well it did get out of hand", he replied.

I whirled around, "Not that you made it any better! What did you say to him!" I demanded.

"I never said anything to implicate that you and I were . . . an item. I only told him that you had moved on, which was the truth", he answered.

I glared at him, "No Bruce, it wasn't the truth, because you weren't entirely honest with him. You should have cleared it up from the beginning!"

Bruce looked at me in the eye, "Why is this bothering you so much? I thought you had moved on!"

"I HAVE moved on! I AM OVER DICK GRAYSON! WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO MAKE YOU ALL UNDERSTAND THAT?" I screeched.

"Miss Gordon, please do try to calm down. Master Bruce, do you think we could discuss this some other time? I don't believe Miss Gordon should be agitated in such a manner in her present state", Alfred cut in.

Bruce nodded, "Alfred take Barbara up to her room to get some rest. Tim, back to the cave".

- _I was over him. I was. I am over Dick. OVER HIM. Wasn't I?_ -

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

Things are getting interesting, aren't they? Think you know what will happen next? Remember to Read and Review!

- Lady Artemis -


	4. Chapter 3: Back in Action

**Summary:** Barbara gets back on the streets against Batman's warnings and comes face to face with Dick/Nightwing. Dick takes this chance to discuss certain things with her.

**Chapter 3: Back in Action**

"I am ready to go back out there! Stop trying to protect me! I'm not a child!" I protested.

"You'll be ready when I say you're ready", Batman replied harshly.

I glared at him, "Why do you insist on treating me this way Bruce? I'm telling you, I'm FINE!"

Batman looked up from the computer, "When you are able to pass the level 10 simulation, then you'll be ready to go back out".

"Even you have trouble passing that simulation Bruce! Not fair", I shouted.

"Then you'll just have to train harder, won't you?" he answered smoothly.

I looked at him disgustedly. I wondered how could actually be living under the same roof with him. But I knew the answer to that. He was so different with me as Bruce Wayne. But I knew he manipulated me as Batman. I wasn't sure how much longer I could take this. It was like two different people in one. And I hated one of them.

Batman stood up from the computer and walked over to the Batmobile. I watched as he climbed in and gave me one last warning look before closing the top, turning on the engine, and speeding off out of the cave.

- _No way I'm letting you manipulate me this time Bruce. I'm going out, whether you like it or_ _not_ -

I made my way over to the suit vault, and grabbed my Batgirl costume from its place.

"Do you think that is a wise decision, Miss Barbara?" a voice asked from behind.

I whirled around to face Alfred; "I'm tired of him treating me like a child. I can take care of myself Alfred. I'll prove it to him tonight".

"I only hope you know what you are doing my dear", answered Alfred.

I smiled at him, "Don't worry Alfred, I'll be fine. I've being doing this for years now, I don't think a few months off is going to affect my ability to fight".

"As you wish, Miss Barbara. I pray you are right", Alfred said with a sigh.

"Thanks Alfred", I said, giving him a huge hug.

I ran to the changing room and emerged a few minutes later in costume. It felt so good to be wearing it again. I ran over to my bike, which was still in its usual spot, right next to where the Batmobile was usually parked. I jumped onto it and started the engine.

"Don't worry Alfred, I'll be fine!" I shouted over the roaring engine.

Alfred looked worried, "It's not your fighting abilities I'm worried about", he muttered, watching as Batgirl rode out of the cave.

- - - - - -

**Gotham** **Rooftops**

It felt great to have to wind blowing through my hair again. I felt so free and in control when I was Batgirl. And I was definitely ready to get back to work. I only had to figure out where Batman had gone to and I would be ready to make my comeback appearance.

Parking my bike at the usual spot, I used a grappling hook to take to the rooftops of the city. Once I was up there, I didn't need grapples anymore. A daring series of flips and jumps were all that was necessary to take me to Batman's usual patrol point.

Crouching on the edge of the Gotham International building, I viewed the whole city. I squinted to try and locate Batman, but with no success. I frowned.

- _Where was he?_ -

It worried me a bit that I couldn't locate him. He was usually pretty easy to spot from this point.

- _IF he was patrolling. Unless . . . maybe he had run into something already_ -

Soft footsteps from behind ripped my mind from my thoughts. As they reached me, I kicked a leg out behind, connecting with my visitor's body. Without hesitation, I whipped around, taking the intruder's legs out from under them. In a few moments, I had them securely pinned to the ground, ready to continue my attack.

"Hey! Babs, its me!", came Dick's voice from behind the mask.

My angry features relaxed into a confused look, "Dick?" I asked in a whisper.

"Yeah, it's me! Could you please get off me?", he pleaded.

Realizing that it was in fact Dick Grayson behind the mask, I stood up and helped him to his feet. I looked him over. His kevlar suit was black except for a sort of bird on his chest, which was an icy blue. It certainly went with his eyes. I noticed he had no cape and that his shoulder length hair was pulled into a tight ponytail. I hated his hair like that and hoped he would cut it.

I stared at him, "Who are you suppose to be?" I asked curiously.

"Can't you tell?" Dick joked, then noticing my serious look, he continued, "Nightwing", he said proudly.

"Goes with the suit", I replied.

"That was the idea", said Nightwing.

I stood there watching him. He shifted uncomfortably under my gaze. I realized that this was pretty awkward for both of us, so I moved towards the ledge, reaching for a grappling hook.

"Wait!" Nightwing called out.

I turned to face him, a questioning look on my face. I saw him searching for the words to say before reaching out to take my hand. My whole body tensed in anticipation to what was coming. I knew this would happen eventually, but I didn't think it would happen so soon. He had only been back a few weeks. And I hadn't seen him since the day at the Manor. In a way, I was still getting over the shock that he was actually back. I was in no way prepared for this.

"I need to talk to you Babs", Nightwing said gently.

I firmly took my hand out of his grasp, "Don't call me that out here, you know the rules", I snapped.

Nightwing flinched at my tone, "Please. I have to say this", he said.

I saw the pleading look in his eyes, so I gave him a quick nod in agreement.

Nightwing's eyes brightened a bit. Grabbing my wrist, he pulled me behind a billboard, where no one could see us. Once we were hidden, he took off his mask and faced me again. I made no move to remove my cowl.

"Babs, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for what happened. I never meant to hurt you, I was just so angry with Bruce and then when I found out that you were Batgirl, well, it didn't make things better", he ran a hand through his hair nervously.

I looked at him coldly, "Didn't mean to hurt me? What did you think would happen if you left Dick?", I spat out the word 'Dick'.

His eyes dropped, "I was angry Babs, I wasn't thinking. It was a mistake", he continued.

I laughed angrily, "If it was a mistake, then why did you stay away for TWO YEARS?"

"I was confused. I needed to be on my own for a while. Needed to live my own life. By myself", he said in defense.

"Confused? Needed to be on your own? What about me, Dick? Didn't you think of how that would affect me?" I cried out emotionally.

Nightwing remained silent.

"Do you realize how much it hurt me that you never said good-bye? That you never sent so much as a post card saying you were okay? I lost you that night Dick. I lost the man I loved. Did you ever think about that, Dick?" I continued angrily.

"I'm sorry Babs, I'm so sorry", said Dick softly.

Tears had started rolling down my cheeks, "Sorry is not enough Dick. Sorry will never be enough for what you did to me that night. I DIED that night", I choked out.

Dick grabbed my face in his hands, "I know you will never forgive me Barbara. I know that I ruined my chance with you. I just wanted you to know that I never stopped loving you. I was stupid and I did the wrong thing", he said.

- _Are those tears in his eyes?_ -

I snapped my head out of his hands, "That's not fair Dick. You can't just come back and say these things to me and expect me to feel the same!" I yelled.

"I'm not expecting anything Babs. I only hope that you can understand why I did what I did. I wasn't running away from you, I was running away from Bruce. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to get out. I had to Babs!" he shouted.

"Well you should have thought about the consequences before you left!" I hissed out, wiping the tears with the back of my glove.

Dick slowly reached over and gently pulled off my cowl. He wiped the remaining tears away with his gloved hand. Then, he cupped my face in his hand and brought it up to his face.

"I'm so sorry", he whispered, kissing my cheek.

I closed my eyes tightly, "Dick, its too late. I can't . . . I'm seeing someone".

Dick's eyes narrowed, "Bruce? Bruce is just using you to fill up the loneliness he feels. The loneliness he chooses to feel instead of letting people in. I don't want to see him hurt you Babs", he said.

Barbara's eyes turned cold, "I am not some prize to be one, Dick. Just grow up and realize that I am in an adult relationship with someone. Not just a teenage fling like we had", I said severely.

Dick gave me a hurt look, "Is that all it was for you? A fling? You didn't love me?" he asked.

My stomach felt sick as I said the next words, "I thought I did Dick. But we were just hiding from each other. Hiding behind the people we were pretending to be".

Dick stared at me in shock and opened his mouth to speak, but a huge explosion behind us cut off his words. We both whipped around to face it. A huge cloud of smoke had formed over a blazing building. Recovering from the surprise of the explosion, we started to run towards the edge of the rooftop.

I pulled my cowl back on with one hand and reached for a grappling hook with the other. Beside me, Dick was fixing his own mask. I dived off the roof first, shooting the grapple as I started to freefall. Nightwing flipped off the roof and spread his arms wide, opening the gliders underneath them. He glided silently down to the ground next to me.

Batgirl glanced at him, "You don't need me to take you, right?"

Nightwing eyed me, "No, I got my own bike", he answered.

"I'll meet you there then", I replied, running into an alley. A few minutes later, I sped out of it on my bike. Nightwing stared after me for a second before hitting a button on his belt.

"Not if I get there first", he muttered as he jumped onto his own bike as it sped past him.

- - - - - -

**Downtown Gotham**

"He's in there", called out Nightwing as I screeched to a halt beside him.

"How do you know?" I asked, looking curiously at his bike.

"I just know. Common, we've got to find him", he ordered as he ran into the blazing building.

"Nightwing, wait!" I shouted after him.

Nightwing slid to a stop and turned to give me a questioning look. I opened a compartment on my bike and pulled out two gas masks from it. I tossed one to Nightwing, who caught it and slipped it on. Giving me a thumbs-up sign, he jumped through the fire and into the building. I slipped on my own mask and followed him into the burning inferno.

I had to shield my eyes at first until they got used to the bright light of the fire. My kevlar suit was supposed to protect me from the fire, but the heat was so incredible that I could still feel it. I looked around wildly, searching for Nightwing. He had disappeared into the flames. I didn't like the idea of being separated in this fire, but I seemed to have no choice but to go on alone.

Nightwing looked back to see that Batgirl had disappeared. He turned to go back to her, but the ceiling above him collapsed and blocked his way. He was trapped. His only option was to continue upward. Up to the rooftop. He shielded his face as he jumped through the fire.

I dove forward to escape the falling concrete as the ceiling collapsed. I landed on my hands and pushed up into a somersault. I landed in a crouch a few feet from the stairwell. I knew Nightwing would go that way, so I ran to it, covering my face as another explosion made the fire rise closer. When I reached the stairwell, I ran up the steps. I had to hurry because my mask was running out of air. I only hoped Nightwing was already up there.

Nightwing searched each floor as he made his way upward. When he reached the seventh floor, he saw two men unconscious on the ground. He knelt next to them and checked their pulses. They were all alive, but they seemed to have been knocked out. A smile spread his lips. Batman must be nearby. He started pulling one of the men towards the stairwell, when he saw Batman crouched by a third man, pulling on an air mask.

I was rounding the corner of the seventh floor staircase, when the stairwell door opened and Nightwing entered, lugging a man by the arms. I ran over to him and touched him on the shoulder. He craned his head around. He grinned at me. I gave him a small smile. Then, he signaled the room he had just come out of and raised two fingers.

- _Two more left_ -

I nodded and ran past him into the room. I saw Batman with one of the men slung over his shoulder. I grabbed the last one and dragged with towards the stairwell.

Once we had the three men safe in the stairwell, we took a moment to rest. Then, Batman signaled us to continue up the stairs. We each grabbed one of the men and made our way up again.

When we finally reached the eleventh and top floor, we dropped the men to the ground. Nightwing grabbed at the doorknob and turned it. It wouldn't move. He rammed the door with his shoulder, but it didn't budge. Batman grabbed his arm and signaled him to take a running start. They both took several steps back. Then, they ran at the door together. The door flew opened as they rammed it.

I dragged the first man out as Batman and Nightwing went back in to get the others. After laying the man on the ground, I leaned against the wall and ripped off my gas mask. I breathed in the fresh air deeply. Batman and Nightwing came out moments later and lay the other two men next to their comrade. They both slipped off their masks. Batman looked grimly at me.

"I thought I told you to stay at home", he growled.

I looked at him defiantly, "I felt that I was ready to get back on the streets. So I did."

Batman's eyes narrowed, "I thought we had agreed that you were not ready", he said icily.

I frowned, "No, YOU thought that I was not ready. I don't need you to protect me. I can take care of myself", I said angrily.

Batman towered over me, "I make the rules. Not you. It's my rules that keep us alive night after night. And as a part of this team, it is your duty to abide by those rules. Do you understand?" he said menacingly.

Nightwing thought to cut in, but Batman spoke before he had even opened his mouth.

"You stay out of this. This is between me and Batgirl", Batman snapped.

Nightwing's eyes darkened, "I wasn't planning on it", he affirmed.

Batman did not even glance at Nightwing. His steely gaze was glued onto me. I realized that my breath had quickened and that I was sweating under my suit. I had let him walk over me so many times because I was always too scared to speak my mind. And I was sick of it. I had to let him know that I was my own woman and that we were PARTNERS, not master and student anymore. I had learned all I needed to take care of myself. It was time to let him know that.

I raised my chin high in defiance, "You may make the rules, but I DO NOT have to abide by them. That may have been true a year ago, but I do not need you hovering over me like if I were going to mess up any second. I KNOW what I am doing. You trained me to be able to handle any situation and be able to take care of myself. You might have been able to manipulate me with that line before, but its not going to work anymore. Save it for Robin", I declared.

Batman just glared at me. He stood up tall, towering over me. This might have intimidated me before, but now . . . now I finally had stood up to him. He would have to accept it, whether he liked it or not. I was NOT going to back down.

"If that is the way you feel, then you have no place on this team anymore", Batman said firmly. He was gone before I had a chance to let his words sink in. I ran to the ledge of the roof he had jumped off of.

"YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! IT'S NOT FAIR!" I screamed after him.

I turned around and rammed my fist into a wall. It hurt like hell, but I was so angry that I didn't even feel it. I was so angry . . . so angry. He can't do that to me, after all we had gone through together, after everything he had said.

- _I can't believe that I actually believed him_ -

"It's not as bad as it looks".

I had forgotten Dick was there. I turned to face him.

"Oh really? And how could you possibly know that?" I barked.

Nightwing actually laughed. I just stood there, wondering why the hell he was laughing. He noticed I wasn't smiling or laughing and stared at me.

"You're kidding me, right?" he asked in disbelief.

"If you mean, am I kidding about failing to see the humor in the situation, then no", I replied.

Nightwing jaw dropped a bit, but he recovered quickly. He studied me for a minute before speaking.

"He never told you, did he?" he asked me.

I was confused, "Tell me what?"

His gaze fell to the ground, "Why I left".

My entire face darkened at the statement, "He didn't have to".

Nightwing looked at me in the eye, "So he never told you then?"

"I told you, he didn't have to. I know you two were having problems, you know, butting heads. And then when you found out . . . about this . . . I knew that was it for you".

An amazed look fell over Nightwing's features.

"Do you really think that I left because of you?" he questioned.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

Sorry to pull a cliffhanger on you guys, but I couldn't resist (grins evily). Now what do you think could possibly happen now? Think Babs and Dick will get back together? Check out next chapter, until then . . . REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


	5. Chapter 4: The Way it Was and the Way it...

**Summary:** Babs and Dick have a serious conversation about their "relationship". Old heartbreaks resurface and they finally talk about what really happened that night. They also talk about where they will go from here . . .

**Chapter 3: The Way it was and the Way it is**

I was about to answer him, when I noticed blood coming from his left arm.

"You're hurt", I said, taking his arm in my hand to look at the wound.

He winced, "I'll be fine".

I squinted my eyes as I examined it more closely, "This needs stitches. Damn, I didn't bring my kit. I'm going to take you to the cave".

Nightwing didn't seem to like the idea, "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think you and Bruce should cross each other yet. Isn't there somewhere else we could go?"

Great. The last place I wanted to take him was my apartment, but there seemed to be no other choice. He needed those stitched tonight.

"Okay, let's go to my place. I got a first aid kit there".

Nightwing smiled, "Okay".

He ran towards the edge of the roof and stopped inches from it. I ran up beside him.

"You're pretty agile for someone who's wounded" I teased.

"You know me", he said with a wink.

"Yes, I do", I mumbled.

I dove off the roof first, my cape whipping out behind. Almost immediately, my eyes began to sting from all the air that was rushing at my face. I closed them while I pushed a small button on my belt. Night vision lenses snapped down over my eyes. I opened them to see that Nightwing was already below me.

I moved my body into a streamlined position, arms to my sides and legs held together tightly. I fell faster now, catching up with Nightwing. The ground was getting unnervingly close. My heart pounded in my ears. I loved every moment of it.

I held my breath as I waited for the right moment. I passed Nightwing and saw the surprised look on his face. In a split second, I had a grapple out and was firing it. It anchored and the line soon tightened. My face showed complete concentration as the muscles in my arms flexed under my weight. I came to a halt about 10 feet from the street.

I eyed a balcony that was level with me. Swinging my legs back and forth, I gave myself enough momentum to jump onto the balcony. When I was at the highest point of the swing, I let go of the jump line, executed a graceful flip and landed softly on both feet. I raised my arms in the standard gymnastics landing position.

"Show off", muttered Nightwing as he landed beside me moments later.

I grinned to myself.

- - - - - -

**Barbara's Apartment**

"Oww" howled Dick.

Dick was sitting on the kitchen counter, his shirt removed. I was sitting on a stool in front of him. On the counter behind me were bottles, cotton balls, gauze, medical tape, and a stitching kit. All I had done was touch the wound to examine it once again.

I looked up at Dick, "Don't be such a baby!"

"But it hurts!" Dick whined.

I chuckled as I reached for the alcohol, "Well this is going to hurt a bit more".

Dick watched as I put alcohol on a cotton ball with wide eyes. Then I held his shoulder still and placed the cotton ball on it, cleaning the wound. Dick shut his eyes tight and hissed out in pain.

I rolled my eyes, "Oh please, grow up!"

Dick narrowed his eyes in disgust at me, "You're enjoying this way too much".

Eight stitches and a whole lot of whining on Dick's part later, I placed some gauze over the stitches and used medical tape to secure it.

"All done!" I announced with a triumphant smile.

Dick looked relieved, "About time", he muttered.

I chuckled, "Okay Boy Blunder, time for you to go whine at home".

Dick tipped his head to one side, "Boy Blunder? Wow, it's been ages since I've heard that".

Realizing what I had just done, I tensed up, "Just don't get used to it", I said in an icy tone that even I was surprised at.

Dick sighed, "Babs, will we ever be okay again? I mean, can't we even be friends? We do watch over the same city, you know", he said.

"I told you not to call me that".

"Why?"

"Because, DICK, maybe you can just forget everything that happened, but it's going to take me a while longer".

"Barbara . . ."

"Don't Dick. Look, maybe with time . . . maybe we can be friends, but it's just too hard right now".

"You still think I left because of you", he said sadly.

"Well what would you have me think? You left the moment you found about . . . THIS!" I yelled, pointing at my costume lying on the sofa.

Dick closed his eyes, "I know it looks like I left because of what I found out, but I never left because of you. The only reason I left was because of Batman. It wasn't even because of Bruce. It was always Batman", he explained.

I glared at him, "You expect me to believe that?" I interrogated.

"Listen to me! I am telling you, I didn't leave because of you! I loved you. LOVED YOU! I just . . . I had to go away Babs, I couldn't take it anymore!" he answered.

I looked at his face closely, "Then why didn't you even say good-bye? Why didn't you tell me something, ANYTHING! You could have told me you needed to go away, I would have understood".

Dick shook his head, "No, you wouldn't have understood. That's why I never went to you before I left. I knew you would try to make me stay. I knew you would want for Batman and I to work things out. I just had to leave. I needed space, needed to get out on my own".

I remained silent. So that's why he left. It wasn't because of me. I suddenly felt like a huge load had been lifted off my shoulders.

- _Okay, so he didn't leave because of me. Now what? I mean we can't just take back the past two years. What he did to me was unforgivable. He can't expect me to forgive him that easily. I have a life, a boyfriend, and a job. I can't just drop it all because he decided to come back after all this time_ -

Dick noticed I wasn't going to answer, so he asked, "Do you know why I went to you at your apartment that night?"

My head popped up and my eyes gave him a questioning look. Did I want to know all this?

But he continued anyways, "We had faced up with the Joker and he had managed to get away. He slipped right through our fingers. Batman was furious. Well, I managed to see one of his goons fleeing the scene and Batman ordered me to follow him home. So I did. I followed him back to his apartment. I guess I was expecting the guy to be some bum that lived in a dump", he chuckled.

His gaze dropped to the floor as he went on, "But he wasn't. He went home to his WIFE and KID. I guess Batman had a tracer on me because before I knew it, he was breaking in and interrogating the guy in front of his FAMILY. Right there in the middle of his living room. He didn't care that his wife was right there crying and clutching her son. I told him that we should do this somewhere else, but he said no. I insisted that we do this later, so he shoved me against a wall and I fell to the floor", he stopped there.

My hands had gone to my mouth, but they dropped when he stopped.

He looked up at me, "I was so angry with him. I just knew I couldn't take it anymore. It was impossible for me to stay here. I'm just sorry you had to get hurt".

The tension in the air was very thick, so I decided to break it.

"Yeah well, I'll live. Bruce and Alfred say I'm a fighter" I forced a smile.

He seemed uncomfortable at the mention of Bruce. Did he still think Bruce and I . . . well I hadn't told him otherwise, so he probably did. Great.

"Look Dick. About Bruce and I . . . you have it all wrong".

"Do I?" he asked sarcastically.

He sighed, "You don't have to explain Babs. I get it . . ."

"No you don't!" I cut in.

"Huh . . ."

"Listen for once in your life! There is nothing going on between Bruce and I. It was all just a big misunderstanding. I never meant for it to get out of hand".

Dick was confused, "What about when you kissed him?"

I looked embarrassed, "I don't know why I did that. I suppose it was the first thing that came to mind at the moment".

We looked at each other for a moment. Those eyes still made me weak in the knees. And that smile weak in the heart. I shrugged it off.

He looked at me, his gaze penetrating my mask, "Look Babs, I know things can't ever be the same as they were. I wish they could. But, I know you felt like I betrayed you and that you are still hurting over that. I know it couldn't have been easy for you to get on with your life. I really would like another chance, in spite of all that".

My jaw dropped open. He wanted another chance. The thing I had been dreaming about for so long was finally happening! Whoa, wait a second. I had to think this through before making any decisions.

- _Okay Babs, think. This is what you have wanted ever since the night he left your life. But, you had just moved on with your life. Everything is back on track again. I mean, what if he leaves again? You know he and Bruce will never truly get along. If his love for you wasn't enough for him to stay last time, I doubt it would be in the future. Do you really want to gamble with your emotions like that? I don't think you would be able to survive heartbreak again. Maybe you should just let things be as they are now. You have your life and he has his. Maybe in the future, maybe after you establish some sort of friendship first. I doubt he's the same person he was when he left. Perhaps in the future . . . but for now, leave things as they are. It's not worth losing everything you've worked for to get where you are now_ -

Dick shifted nervously. He was nervous? It worried him that I had not answered yet.

"Babs?" he asked.

I was brought out of my thoughts. I looked up at him, "You know, I've never loved anyone like I loved you. There were times when I thought I couldn't live without you. And then when I really did loose you, I was heartbroken, but I managed to survive. And that was something I never thought I would be able to do. I don't know if I will ever love anyone in that way again. What I do know is that I want to live and let things happen on their own. I don't want to hold out on life and then have everything come crashing down again. I don't think I could handle that again".

He seemed unsure, "What are you saying exactly?"

"What I am saying is that I don't think it would be a good idea for us to try and make things like they were. I like how things are now. I don't know what lies in the future, but I know that I can't go back to how things were".

Dick nodded understandingly, "You won't ever be able to forgive me, will you?" he asked.

I frowned at him, "Is that what you believe? Do you think that we would be having this conversation right now if I had not forgiven you? I had to forgive you to be able to continue with my life. People can't hold grudges forever".

He nodded again. Then he asked suddenly, "So what is going to happen between us?"

I was a little shocked by the question, but the answer came quickly, "I think tonight was a first step. Now that things are clear about the past, I think this could be the foundation for something new, not that I know what that is. All I know is that it's a start".

"I agree", he answered.

I smiled. I'm glad he understood. I didn't know what was going to happen between us. But I was just glad to have him around again. And I was glad to be able to talk to him. We always did understand each other well. I think things were going to be okay after all.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

- Lady Artemis -


	6. Chapter 5: Back to the Beginning

**Summary:** Babs and Dick have a moment, or do they? Things are looking up for Dick, but will Babs wake up and realize what her heart is telling her? And Batgirl runs into someone from Batman's past with a dark purpose, but what is that purpose and what are they doing in Gotham?

**Chapter 4: Back to the Beginning**

**Jackie's Diner**

I walked through the glass door and took off my coat, hanging it on the coat rack as I walked into the diner. A waitress greeted me and offered a seat. I shook my head, pointing at a booth were a young man with messy black hair sat studying the menu. The waitress nodded and gave me a polite smile before going off to attend more customers.

I walked over to the booth were Dick sat and plopped down across from him. Dick looked up from the menu and grinned at me. He stood up and gestured me to sit down with his arm, bowing in the process.

"Cut it out Grayson", I said.

Dick smirked and sat back down, "So, how was work?" he asked, studying the menu again.

I studied him for a minute before answering, "It was fine. Dad wants me to go with him to another one of those boring GCPD dinners", I told him.

Dick looked at me, "Need someone to rescue you from boredom? You know me, always saving damsels in distress", he said with a wink.

I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, "That's sweet of you Grayson, but I already have a date".

His face fell a bit, "Oh, well of course a lovely lady like yourself already has a date. Silly me", he smirked.

This was a little weird.

The waitress walked up to our table and set down two plates, a double cheeseburger and root beer float for Dick and a turkey club sandwich and cranberry juice for me. I looked down at the food before my gaze went up to Dick.

"You remembered. . . ", I said.

"After all the nights we spent here cramming for tests throughout high school AND college, I think it would be hard to forget", he answered.

"Right", I murmured.

**Several minutes later**

I was laughing so hard I choked on my juice.

"Oh my god! And do you remember that time you totaled the Redbird? He gave you this death stare, and I tried so hard not to laugh!"

Dick laughed.

"I thought he was going to ground me for the rest of my life. If he didn't kill me first!"

I nodded.

"I remember that I didn't see you on patrol for about a month!"

Dick growled, "Yeah, he so over reacted about that. It wasn't THAT bad!"

I burst out laughing, "Over reacted? You like totally wrecked it! He was FURIOUS!"

Dick rolled his eyes, "Whatever".

I laughed harder.

- - - - - -

**Annual GCPD Charity Ball**

I tapped my fingers on the table. I was so bored! Why did I keep on letting Dad convince me to come to these things? He always found a way. Christopher was busy chatting away with the other business tycoons at the ball. He hadn't asked me to dance all night. I let out a heavy sigh.

"Wow, these things really are just as boring as I remember them to be", said a voice from behind me.

I turned and there was Dick, flashing his most charming smile. I was actually relieved to see him.

"Yeah, well they seem to be getting more and more boring to me", I said.

Dick chuckled and held out a hand, "Care to dance?" he asked.

I nodded and gratefully took his hand.

"I don't think I could stand to sit any longer", I said as we walked out onto the dance floor.

The band was playing a slow ballad. Dick placed his right hand gently on my waist and held my right hand out in his left. We began dancing slowly. It was amazing how comfortable I felt dancing with him. It was like remembering a very nice dream you had forgotten. I had missed the way we danced.

The song was almost done when Christopher interrupted us, "May I cut in?" he asked.

Dick looked slightly annoyed, "And you are?"

I spoke before things got out of hand, "Dick, this is Christopher Soriano. My date . . ."

"Oh . . . ", said Dick.

There was a long silence.

"Nice to meet you Chris, I'm Dick Grayson", he pushed his hand into Christopher's and they shook, "Barbara's told me lots about you".

"She has?" Christopher raised an eyebrow, "Funny, she hasn't said a word to me about you".

It was safe to say I was feeling very awkward now.

Dick's smile seemed plastered on his face.

"Well Barbara and I have been good friends since high school, isn't that right Babs?"

I glared at Dick before turning to Christopher with a sweet smile on my face, "Yes, Dick and I have known each other for years. His father and Daddy are good friends, so we have been keeping each other company at these things since we were kids".

Christopher smiled, "This is wonderful! I finally get to meet one of Barbara's friends! I was certain she was hiding them from me."

I think Dick's jaw was hurting from all the smiling he was doing.

Christopher turned to me, "My dear, shall we dance?"

I nodded, "Talk to you later", I said to Dick.

Christopher and I were walking out to the dance floor when he stopped abruptly.

"Look, there's Senator Carlson. I'm sorry dear, but I must speak with him, it's rather important", he said to me.

"Go ahead, don't worry about me. I'll find . . . ", but he was gone before I finished.

I stood there staring after Chris, who walked over to the Senator and began chatting with him. A tall blonde woman joined them shortly afterwards. I scowled at her from the other side of the room. She looked like she had not eaten for months. But Christopher seemed more interested in her and her . . . chest. I was really pissed. I stormed towards the exit. On my way out, I passed by Dick, who was talking to some men. When he saw me he excused himself and jogged after me.

"Hey, what happened to Chris?" he asked.

"Can we get out of here?" I asked, "I need a drink"

Dick looked shocked, "YOU need a drink?"

He laughed.

I glared at him.

"Oh, you're serious", then he seemed worried.

"Come on Grayson", I dragged him towards the exit.

- - - - - -

**A Bar in Downtown Gotham**

"Okay Babs, I think you've had enough to drink for tonight", Dick said, snatching the shot of vodka I had placed in front of me.

"HEY! Give that back!" I protested.

I reached out to grab the shot glass out of Dick's hand, but I lost my balance and fell face first out of my seat. I groaned as I lifted my face off the floor and rolled onto my back. Dick pulled me up to my feet and lifted me into his arms.

"I think its time for you to go home" Dick replied.

I nodded off into a drunken slumber.

- - - - - -

**Barbara's Apartment**

Dick carried me up the four flights to me apartment door. He dug my key out of my purse, unlocked the door, opened it, and finally shut it all with only one hand. I carried me into my room and lay me down in the bed.

I smiled up at him, "Good old Dick, always there when I need him", I murmured.

Dick was busy removing my jacket.

My eyes opened wide, "You know . . ." I hiccupped, "I missed you".

Dick patted my head, "Liquor's talking Babs".

I pouted, "I'm serious!"

He chuckled, "Yeah, as serious as a drunk person can be".

I pouted again, "No, I am serious . . . I really did miss you . . . a lot", I said as I grabbed his coat and pulled him towards me, my lips clumsily locking onto his. I think I may have missed them . . . I wasn't exactly in the best state of mind. As if to prove that theory correct, my head dropped onto Dick's shoulder and I was fast asleep.

"Okay then", said Dick as he lowered Barbara gently back onto the bed.

Dick pulled the covers over Barbara and hung her jacket on a chair. He went back over to the bed and leaned over her. He ran a hand over Barbara's cheek and moved a few strands of hair away from her face.

"How could anyone forget you? How could anyone get over you?" he said to himself.

He leaned down and kissed Barbara on the forehead before leaving.

- - - - - -

**The Clocktower the next night**

I sat on the ledge of the Clocktower, legs hanging over the side. I rubbed my temples with my index and middle fingers. I still had a hangover from last night. Not that I remembered much of last night. All I remember is going to a bar, drinking a lot, and then waking up in my apartment. I could only guess that Dick had taken me there, seeing as I dragged him along with me. I also remember my date, the jerk, had not called me after my disappearance last night.

"Someone's got a hangover".

"Get lost Robin, I am NOT in a good mood", I growled.

Robin smirked, "Yup, you definitely have a hangover. Good thing Nightwing covered for you or Batman wouldn't let you out on patrol for a week. He'd give you his famous responsibility speech and then ground you for a week".

I glared at Robin and dropped over the ledge, freefalling through the air. I shot out a grapple at the last possible moment and came breathtakingly close over the ground as I swooped up to the top of the nearby three-story apartment building. I continued my journey over the rooftops until I arrived at The Gotham Museum of Art. I saw a shadow pass below me as I flew by.

I turned myself around and dropped down onto the Museum with a soft thud. I took out my communicator.

"Batgirl to Batman. There is a possible break-in at The Museum of Art. I'm going in," I said into it.

"_Negative Batgirl._ _Wait for backup. I'm on my way and I'm sending Robin to your location_".

I narrowed my eyes, "I'm going in", I repeated.

"_Negative Batgirl, I said . . ._ "

I shut off the communicator.

I used a line to lower myself down into the alley behind the museum. I found the service entrance and picked the lock. I slipped inside, closing the door behind me. No need making the crook's escape easier.

I carefully avoided the security sensors as I moved around the building. I passed the security guards moving in the direction opposite to where I was heading. I knew I had around fifteen minutes before they would make their way back on their rounds. I moved stealthily into the next area, walking past Ancient Egyptian artifacts (sarcophaguses holding mummies inside, statues, jewels, and pottery) and rummaging through one of the exhibits was the intruder. I moved slowly towards them.

"I was expecting Batman", said a female voice.

My eyes narrowed at the comment, "Yeah well sorry to disappoint you", I sneered.

"Not a disappointed, I know he will be here shortly", was the reply.

"I'll have you locked up in Arkham by then", I growled.

The figure turned to face me. She was a tall woman with strong features. She had large, beautiful black eyes, a defined nose, cheekbones to die for, and a long, elegant neck. But her most capturing feature was her long mane of raven black hair that flowed down to the small of her back. Her ruby red lips parted back into a surprisingly sweet smile. I had expected a sneer.

"I can tell why he has taken you into his world. You are young and courageous, but I advise you to be more cautious and not so stubborn. It is apparent that you are here against your mentor's orders, he would not be so foolish to send his young protégée into an unknown situation", she replied without a second thought.

I was taken aback at how well she had deduced the whole situation. How could she know Batman so well? How could she guess everything like that without knowing something? I didn't like this at all, she knew too much. More than she should. I couldn't take her to Arkham anymore, much less to the police.

- _How am I going to take her down?_ -

As if to answer my question, a quick flip of a cape and Batman was towering beside me. The woman did not seemed shocked or even the slightest bit scared at Batman's sudden presence. Robin lingered behind in Batman's shadow. The woman had moved slightly to hide her face in the shadows upon his arrival.

"Who are you and what are you looking for in this museum?" demanded Batman.

"I have already found one of the things I seek, and the other has just arrived", said the woman. Her voice was steady and held no trace of fear or doubt.

Batman raised an eyebrow.

As if to answer him, the woman continued, "I have been waiting for you. You seem to have lost your touch. You used to catch on to me much sooner in the past. You also usually knew it was me beforehand".

"Is that so? So I take we have met before . . . " said Batman.

"Of course. We have met many times before, in this lifetime and in past ones. Our souls are connected eternally . . . beloved", the woman professed.

Batman's eyes widened, "Thalia?" The woman stepped out of the shadows to face Batman, "Indeed it is I. I have been sent on a mission by my father, one which is unpleasant, but necessary", she explained.

"What sort of mission?" Batman asked suspiciously.

I stood there watching the whole thing. I was totally lost. Apparently Batman knew this Thalia woman. They must have known each other very well . . . for someone to call Bruce 'beloved', you would have to know him very well.

"It is a mission that my father has dreamed of for years. Something that even you cannot possibly imagine. Something far beyond the reach of your wildest dreams".

"What do I have to do with it?" asked Batman.

Thalia smiled at him, "You will know in due time. I only wished to inform you of my presence in Gotham tonight. I shall seek you in due time for the rest of my purpose".

She had no more than uttered the last word, when she vanished into thin air.

Batman glared at the spot Thalia had stood and gritted his teeth.

"Ra's", he muttered under his breath.

- - - - - -

TBC . . . 

And the plot thickens . . . What could it be that Thalia wants? What could Ra's have up his sleeve this time? You'll have to wait until next chapter to find out what happens! Don't you hate it when I leave you all hanging like this? I LOVE IT! -Laughs evilly-

- Lady Artemis -


	7. Chapter 6: Love and Duty Call

**Summary:** Barbara is kidnapped and the only person that can help lead the Bat Clan to her is Thalia herself. Will she betray her father to help them, or is her faithfulness too strong? Will they ever be able to trust her? And even if they cannot trust her, how will they find Barbara if not with her help?

**Chapter 6: Love and Duty Call**

**The** **Batcave**

"What was THAT all about?" I asked Batman in a confused voice.

We had just arrived back at the Batcave after our mysterious encounter with that Thalia woman. Batman acted like if I had not spoken and was pacing back and forth in front of the computer. He was very concentrated on whatever it was he was thinking.

I watched him closely. This was starting to make me nervous. Who was that Thalia woman? How did she know Batman, or more importantly, how did she know BRUCE? This probably meant she knew Bruce was Batman. How did she KNOW that? What was it she wanted? She had been going on about a mission her father had sent her on . . . one she was reluctant to complete. Why?

Robin was sitting on the stairs of the Batcave, watching Batman intently. I looked at Robin, then at Batman, then at Robin again. Alfred suddenly appeared, carrying a tray with coffee and mugs. I glanced at Alfred before glaring at Batman again. I had had it.

"Can ANYBODY tell me what hell is going on here?" I roared.

Batman snapped out of his trance and stopped, staring at me. Tim's head snapped in my direction. Even Alfred was looking at me, surprised at my outburst.

I heard a chuckle come from behind me and I turned to see Dick coming down the steps of the Batcave. He passed by Tim and walked right up to Batman and I.

"So, what was so important that I had to get here 'right away'?" he asked.

I continued to stare at Batman, searching for an answer, but he just looked at Dick. Dick seemed to understand from that look that this was a serious Bat matter. He nodded for Batman to go on.

"We had a little run in Thalia tonight", Batman began.

Dick's eyebrows went up in surprise, "Thalia? What's SHE doing in Gotham?"

"She says she is on a mission for her father, but she did not go into any details. She simply said she wanted to inform me of her presence in Gotham. She gave me the impression that she was trying to warn me about something. She doesn't seem to be too happy about this mission, much more so than she showed"

Dick furrowed his brow, "She said Ra's sent her?"

Batman nodded.

Dick looked at Batman, "You're thinking the same thing I am, aren't you?"

"Anything involving Ra's cannot be good", Batman stated.

Dick nodded.

I was fed up already. They were going on like if no one else was in the room. I was standing right there and they were acting like if I were invisible!

"Could SOMEONE fill me in on what is happening here?" I hissed.

Dick's head snapped in my direction. He had totally forgotten I was there. Batman glanced at me, but he had been perfectly aware of my presence. He surveyed me for a long time, as if he was deciding how we would explain it all to me. But it was more likely that he was just deciding whether or not he would tell me at all. After a terribly long silence, he finally spoke.

"Ra's has been one of the greatest foes I have ever come upon. He is a very wise man, which make him both cunning and very resourceful. He is also very ambitious and determined, making him very dangerous as well".

"You forgot immortal and totally crazy", Dick cut in.

One of my brows shot up, "Immortal?"

Batman continued, "Ra's has remained youthful for hundreds of years now because he has discovered the secret of the Lazarus Pit. Anyone who bathes in the Lazarus Pit will become eternally youthful. Ra's discovered the location of the pit and used its powers to remain in his prime for over two hundred years".

"But I thought the Lazarus Pit was only a myth", I said.

"Ra's is the only person who knows the exact location and how to reach the pit. But, there are three living people who have seen it other than Ra's himself. Those people are his daughter, his henchman, and myself".

"You have actually BEEN to the Lazarus Pit?" I asked in shock.

"There was a time when Ra's wished for me to become his heir. He tried to force me into bathing in the pit by using his daughter against me. He thought that I was the only one worthy to be the next to rule the kingdom he was planning to build".

"Thalia is his daughter", I said.

"Yes she is. Ra's has a very strong hold over his daughter, one not easy for her to resist. He is a very powerful man, but she has been able to slip his grasp every now and then. She also does go back to him though . . .", Batman trailed off.

"Do you really believe she was trying to warn you? How do you know you can trust her?" I questioned.

Batman looked me in the eye, "Thalia warned me the best she could without betraying her father. You see, Thalia and I were very much in love at one time, but as many times as she has saved me, she has betrayed me just as many. No matter how great our love was; her love for her father was greater. But, she has never been able to forget about me and her love for me has never died".

I began to understand, "That's why she called you 'beloved' . . ."

Batman nodded, "I can trust her because she would never wish any harm to come to me. What does worry me is that she says this mission is not to her liking".

"Why does that worry you?" asked Dick, who had remained silent throughout the conversation.

Batman turned to him; "Because the only reason she would have to be wary of something her father has asked her to do would be if that something would affect me in any way. And since I know she would refuse to do anything to harm me directly, it worries me what Ra's could be planning . . ."

At this moment, Batman gave Dick a look and some sort of information was passed between them silently. I didn't like that they weren't telling me everything.

Robin, who hadn't left his spot on the stairs and had not uttered a single sound this whole time, finally stood up to speak.

"And what is it that we are going to do about it?" he demanded.

Batman looked at his young ward, "We are not going to DO anything. We will wait. Thalia will find us again".

"How can you be so sure?" I asked.

"Love makes people do a great many things. Thalia's love will cause her to try and save me from any pain", Batman said.

It made me nervous to speak of love in front of Dick, "So you're counting on that this girl loves you enough to betray her father?"

Batman shook his head, "You still don't understand. Thalia will never betray her father. But, she will tell me enough to be ready for him".

"Right . . .", I scoffed before turning to leave.

I walked over to my bike and mounted it. Batman turned to me as I put on my helmet.

"Keep a channel open and check in every hour until you get home. And keep your transmitter on Barbara".

I glared at him as I revved my bike's engine. How dare he give me orders while keeping me in the dark of the situation! Wait, how did he know I was going on patrol again? God, did he piss me off.

- - - - - -

**The Clocktower**

Nightwing approached me from behind as I sat on the Clocktower's rooftop as usual.

"Took you long enough", I said without even turning around.

Nightwing grinned, "I see you haven't lost your touch".

I turned to face him, "And I see you still can't sneak up on me, Short Pants".

A distasteful look appeared on his masked face, "I always hated those names".

I smirked, "That's why I love to use them so much, Boy Wonder".

"You know", he said folding his arms, "Technically, you can't use that name because I am no longer Robin".

An evil grin crept onto my lips, "True . . . former Boy Wonder".

Nightwing rolled his eyes.

I laughed.

"So . . .", he said, trying to change the subject.

"Why are you here?" I finished for him.

He nodded.

I leaned against the brick wall; "You are going to let me in on the deal with this Ra's guy. I think I deserve to know what's going on".

Nightwing looked at me for a moment, "I know we haven't told you much, but you have to trust us on this. We don't know much either. We know Ra's MO and we have had past experiences with him, but right now we can't predict his next move. The truth is that we are relying on Thalia for clues".

I gritted my teeth, "You're not telling me something, I can tell".

Nightwing sighed, "Please understand that it's for your own good. You know more than enough already".

I whipped around angrily and started to stalk off. I felt Nightwing's hand wrap around my wrist in an iron grip. I was stopped dead in my tracks. He pulled me close to him.

"Babs, please try to understand. You know I don't want anything to happen to you or anyone else. Be reasonable about this", he whispered in my ear.

"Reasonable?" I said in a high-pitched voice.

Nightwing released his hold on me. We were face to face now.

"Please tell me how I am supposed to be reasonable when I can clearly see how worried you and Batman are? I can see the looks you give each other. I KNOW those looks. They mean that bad things are going to happen. If you don't trust me, then just say it, but don't tell me to be reasonable!" I ranted.

Nightwing just stared at the ground at his feet. He really wasn't going to say anything. Fine then, just FINE!

I gave him a cold look before diving off the rooftop.

"Damnit", Nightwing muttered under his breath.

- - - - - -

**2 Weeks Later**

Batman leaned out over the gargoyle he was perched on to get a better look at the streets below him. The night had been quiet and uneventful. It worried him. Gotham was never quiet. It meant something was going to happen.

Robin struggled to keep his own perch on the gargoyle beside Batman's. Nightwing snickered as the boy tried every grip he knew to try and hold steady. Robin glared at him, and then went back to finding a grip.

"When do you think Batgirl will be joining us?" he asked Nightwing, still facing the city.

Nightwing's face fell, "I think she's still mad at us. There's no knowing when she'll talk to us again. She has been patrolling though. I've seen her, but she keeps her distance from us. She doesn't know I've been watching her back".

A small smile appeared on Batman's cold features. Good thing he had his back to Nightwing and Robin, they might die of shock. But it was gone in a flash and replaced by the ever-expressionless face of Batman.

"She still talks to ME", said Robin. He had given up on the gargoyle and was sitting on a ledge with his legs hanging over.

Nightwing gave him a questioning look.

"What?" asked Robin.

"When were you planning on telling us?" demanded Nightwing.

Robin gave him an innocent look, "I promised not to say anything!"

Nightwing was sending daggers at Robin.

Batman decided to step in before things got out of hand, "Has she mentioned anything about running into Thalia?"

Robin shook his head.

Nightwing looked at Batman, "We haven't heard from Thalia for two weeks now. Do you think she's left Gotham?"

"No, she's still here. She's just bidding her time", replied Batman.

"Indeed I am", said a voice from above.

In a flash and a whip of his cape, Batman was on the rooftop facing Thalia. Moments later, Nightwing and Robin were at his side.

"Hello Beloved", said Thalia warmly.

Batman's face remained stoic.

Thalia took the silence as his reply, "You must be wondering what I have been up to".

Again silence.

She cleared her throat, "A fortnight has passed and the time has come for me to take what I have been sent to retrieve".

"And that would be?" asked Nightwing.

Thalia glanced at Nightwing with distaste, "I do not understand why you take these children under your wing my love. They are so . . . so unbecoming".

Nightwing growled.

Batman stepped forward, "What is it that you want Thalia?"

Thalia smiled, "I need one of your fledglings my love. Father seems to have great interest in one of them".

Batman stepped closer, "And do you really think I am going to let you just take them?"

Thalia's smile widened, "I am counting on it my love".

Batman's eyes narrowed, "You thought wrong Thalia".

Thalia's face fell, "My love, you cannot expect me to believe that you shall fight to the death over one of those children?"

"Believe it", was the reply.

Thalia's face was etched with shock and disbelief. Apparently she did not know Bruce as well as she thought. She would have to do things the hard way then.

Her eyes turned icy, "You have made your choice then, Batman. Father seems to know you better than I do".

She turned to leave. Batman moved to grab her, but she vanished in a puff of smoke.

Batman stood staring at the spot where she had stood.

Nightwing moved to his side, "I'm telling you, that woman has some serious issues".

"She wants one of you", Batman said softly.

"I know", said Nightwing in a voice that suddenly sounded tired, "But which one?"

There was no reply from Batman.

- - - - - -

**Barbara's Apartment**

My footsteps echoed as I made my way up the stairs to my apartment on the sixth floor. Elevator was broken again. Surprise, surprise. I'm sure that if I didn't do it first, someone would kill the handyman soon.

By the time I made it to my floor I was already out of breathe. You'd think that so much training and crime fighting, a girl would be able to go up a few flights of stairs without loosing her breath? Apparently, no amount of training helps against a flight of stairs.

I opened the door of the stairwell and started down the hall to my apartment, number 614. I was rummaging through my purse for the keys, so I wasn't exactly looking where I was going. I ran into someone in front of my door.

I wasn't surprised to see Dick at my apartment. Actually, I had been expected a visit from him anytime now. Why? Well, for the last two weeks I had been avoiding all of them. That is except for Tim. I felt bad about Alfred, but it wasn't like I was going to go to the Manor after what they did. They couldn't trust me with this case and that had really pissed me off.

"What do YOU want?" I asked Dick harshly as I unlocked the door to my apartment.

He looked at me sideways from his position against the wall, "Can't I visit an old friend?"

I opened the door, "At four in the morning?"

He followed me into the apartment without asking and closed the door behind him.

"Look Babs, I know you're still mad at me, but I DO trust you. I just don't want anything to happen to you", he explained.

"Or anyone else", I added.

I was in the kitchen now, heating up leftovers from lunch. Chicken with veggies and white rice. So I was a health freak, sue me. I shoved the food into the microwave and slammed the door shut. I programmed it for two minutes.

Dick sighed, "No, not anyone else. YOU, Barbara".

I hit the on button, "So you don't care what happens to anyone else".

"I didn't say that! Jeeze Babs, stop twisting my words! I am TRYING to have a serious conversation with you!" Dick yelled as he hit his fist on the kitchen counter.

"Yeah, well we haven't been exactly having too many of those lately", I said sarcastically.

Dick rounded the counter and marched into the kitchen to face me, "That's because you're too scared to have a serious conversation with me!"

The microwave beeped, signaling that my dinner was ready. But I just stared at Dick.

"You want me to say that I'm scared? Is that what you want to hear? Fine, because I AM scared!" I yelled close to tears.

Dick remained silent, so I continued.

"Do you want to know WHY I'm scared Dick? I'm scared because the worse thing that has ever happened to me was loosing you. That was the most pain I have ever felt in my entire life! And that is something that I NEVER care to relive again, EVER!"

Okay, now the tears were flowing.

Dick practically lunged forward to place his hands on the sides of my face. He pressed his cheek against mine, "Babs, believe me, I never meant for that to happen. I would never want to cause you any pain again. Please believe that", he whispered into my ear.

That was when Dick's communicator began ringing. Batman was trying to contact him. Just like old times. He cursed under his breath and pulled it out of his pocket. He flipped it off and tossed it onto the counter. He turned back to me and gazed into my eyes. His eyes were so mesmerizing. I had always felt like I could get lost in those eyes.

Our noses were only inches apart now. But, we kept gazing at each other because we were both hesitant to make the first move. It was such a delicate situation that neither of us wanted to blow it. I suddenly felt my own communicator vibrating in my coat pocket. I decided to ignore it, I was much too occupied with more important matters at the moment.

It's now or never Babs, and never was not an option. So I made the first move.

My left hand went up to caress his right cheek. I saw his expression relax under my touch. I knew at that moment that everything was as it should be. I found myself moving closer and closer until my lips locked onto his.

Dick's kiss was sweet and tender. God, how I had missed his kiss, how I had missed him. His lips felt so soft on mine and I was enjoying every second of it. My hand slithered down his neck and my fingers ran over the neck of his coat. He wrapped his arms around me and slid his hands down until they stopped at the small of my back.

CRASH!

The glass from the window in the living room shattered. Someone had thrown himself or herself through it. Dick pulled me to the ground and shielded me with his body. As I looked past Dick, I saw that not only was my window destroyed, but also that there was a rather large gapping hole where the window should have been.

My attention was then directed to the figure standing in the middle of my living room among the dust and rubble. He wore a black cloak and hood that covered most of his body and face. But, he threw back the cloak, revealing none other than Ra's most faithful servant, Ubu. He looked at us and a smile appeared on his face. My trained eyes picked out a silver chain around his neck with a strange looking amulet hanging from it.

"Ah, the lady", he said.

He moved forward in my direction. He was barely two feet away when he was hit by a coffee table. Dick had flung it at him and had caused him to stumble. But, it was only because the attack had come unexpectedly and he recovered quickly. But in those few moments Dick had grabbed me by the hand and yanked me out the front door.

I finally snapped out of my shock and ran behind Dick. We ran down the hall and into the stairwell, where we began to make our way down the stairs. After flying down two flights of stairs, Dick stopped in his tracks. I ran into him.

"What is it?" I asked out of breath.

He pointed down the stairwell. I followed his hand and saw a group of men dresses in Arabic clothing another three flights down. They were all armed with sabers. My eyes widened. Dick yanked me back in the direction we had come.

"We have to get to the roof", he said.

I nodded and followed him up. Thankfully, there were only six floors to my building and we made it to the roof pretty fast. But, we were far from safe. We needed backup NOW. I remembered that my communicator was in my pocket. I took it out and held it to my mouth.

"Batman, come in".

"_Barbara?_ _I've been trying to contact you all night. You have to get out of your apartment, Thalia is after you"_

"Me?" I asked in a small voice.

The look on Dick's face told me how worried he was. He looked terrible. He held my hand with one of his and took the communicator from me with the other.

"Batman? It's Dick. We need backup now. We have a serious problem. They just trashed Barbara's place. They're working for Ra's; I saw a bunch of his men downstairs. We're up on the roof now", Dick briefed Batman.

There was a silence before Batman answered.

"_Get out of there now. I'm about ten minutes out. I've sent Robin to your location. He's about four minutes away"_

There was shouting coming from the stairwell. And it was getting closer. I was starting to get nervous. I squeezed Dick's hand.

"They're coming," I whispered to him.

He looked over his shoulder at the roof's entrance, "We don't have four minutes".

I ran over to the entrance and slammed the door shut. It wouldn't hold for long, but at least it would give us some precious time.

BOOM!

They were trying to break down the door. I looked at Dick. He remained calm, but there was a hint of fear in his eyes.

"_Get out of there NOW"_

Batman's voice boomed over the speaker. It was a direct order. Dick dropped the communicator into his pocket and motioned me to follow him. He was soon at the roof's ledge. This was going to be difficult without grappling hooks.

I heard the sound of metal being broken. This is not good. I was starting to loose my control. Concentrate Barbara. Think about what you're doing.

Dick shouted at me to jump to the neighboring rooftop. It was about a two- story drop to the next rooftop and the alley between the two buildings was about four feet wide. I gulped and backed up for momentum.

Here goes nothing.

I raced forward, sprinting the few feet I had. I needed to get all the speed I could. It felt different without the costume on. I was scared. I jumped forward, not worried about getting height out of the jump. I felt myself dropping until I landed with a loud THUMP.

I turned around to see Dick running towards our attackers. He had gone to face them alone. Damnit Dick. I had to get back up there. I couldn't leave him there.

I looked around, searching for something, anything I could use. All I saw was the fire escape. Shit. I need to help Dick.

"_Dick?_ _Come in!"_

I grabbed the communicator. Dick must have slipped it in my pocket before I had jumped.

"Barbara here"

"_What's going on over there?"_

"Dick decided to take them on himself", I said in a frantic voice.

"_Where are YOU?"_

"On the neighboring rooftop"

"_Listen to me Barbara. I want you to get out of there NOW. Dick can handle himself"_

How could he say that? Dick was by himself. He needed help. He needed MY help.

"Wise advice".

I whirled around.

"Thalia" I growled.

She smiled at me.

"_What's going on?"_

I dropped the communicator to the ground.

"You want me? Well here I am", I challenged.

Thalia raised an eyebrow.

"_Barbara, she's after YOU! GET OUT OF THERE!"_

Thalia's face softened, "You love him, don't you?"

"What's it to you?" I asked harshly.

"Collect the young lady Ubu, we must make haste", Thalia ordered.

Suddenly, Ubu appeared out of thin air and stood before me.

I fell back into a fighting stance. I wasn't going without a fight. A small snicker came from Ubu. He stepped forward and threw something at me feet. I looked down. They were . . . seeds? I looked up at Ubu and Thalia.

"Is that it . . . seeds?" I asked.

Thalia looked amused and the Ubu snickered again.

I looked back down at the seeds. I gasped when I saw that the seeds had come to life. There were vines springing from them, reaching for me. I sprung back, but the vines were alive like tentacles, growing and growing. They were coming closer. I began to run. But, where would I run to? The other end of the roof was only a few feet away. I would have to risk the jump to the next building.

The wind blew at my face as I ran across the rooftop. I started calculating my strides. I measured three more before I would need to jump. I strained with each stride, making the most out of each. I took my last step and used all the force left in me to make the huge leap from one building to the other. I flew through the air for a few moments before I began my downfall. But, it was cut short as I felt something wrap itself around my legs. I was picked out of the air by the now huge vines. They dangled me over the gap between the two buildings, and then slowly began retreating back towards Thalia, carrying me with them.

I may have been mistaken, I was dangling upside down, but the look on Thalia's face seemed . . . I don't know but it looked like if she were dealing with some sort of private agony. But then again, I was hanging upside down. The vines dropped me at Ubu's feet.

He bent down and grabbed me by one arm and pulled me up to my feet with ease. This guy was strong, much too strong. Something tried to click in my mind, but I couldn't quite place it. Thalia signaled Ubu to follow her. He obeyed, dragging me behind.

Thalia's back was to me, so I struggled against Ubu's iron clad grip, trying to get a good look at what was happening on the neighboring rooftop. I could still see Dick struggling against his attackers. There were so many of them. He was completely outnumbered. I struggled harder. Ubu continued to drag me on as if nothing. Please, don't hurt Dick. You already have me. I'M what you want.

Thalia seemed to have read my mind, "Does the lady have any last requests before we embark?" she asked quietly.

She stopped; her back still to me. She turned suddenly, the look on her face unable to be read. I was unsure whether or not to answer. Could it be some sort of trap?

"You have my word that your request shall be carried out", she assured me.

I had to try.

"Promise me that you won't hurt him. You have what you want. Leave him out of this" I said.

Thalia nodded, "You have my word that the young man shall not be harmed", she turned to Ubu; "You know what to do".

In a flash, Ubu had disappeared, taking Barbara along with him.

Thalia stared at where we had been standing and gave a long sigh. She walked over to where Barbara had dropped her communicator and picked it off of the cold cement.

- - - - - -

**The Neighboring Rooftop**

Dick was exhausted. These guys just don't give up. He needed help soon.

As if to answer his request, Robin appeared out of the night sky, heading head on into the fight. Soon, there were many more bodies lying on the ground. There were only a handful of men left, when they all suddenly stooped fighting. They all stood straight with their heads bowed. Dick and Robin looked at each other and shrugged.

"Leave them be" came Thalia's voice.

Dick and Robin both stared at her angrily.

"Where is she?" demanded Dick.

"She has been taken to father", said Thalia.

Robin clenched his fists.

Dick looked stricken, "What do you want with her?" he asked desperately.

Thalia looked at Dick sympathetically, "She is in good hands. No harm shall come to her".

"Is that what your father told you?", said a new voice.

Batman had joined the small group.

"I expected you earlier, beloved".

"What does your father want with her?" Batman growled.

Thalia looked at him, "His purpose is much greater than either you or me. The girl is only a pawn. My father won't let her out of his grasp easily. He has important plans for her".

"Why are you telling me this?" asked Batman.

Thalia sighed, "Because, my love, once you saved me from going down the wrong path, but I betrayed you to return to my father. I let my pride and trust in him blind me from the truth".

Batman stared at her, "Then why do you continue to help him in this madness?"

"I am already in far too deep to my liking, but I know that if I leave him now, there might not be anyone to stop him when the time comes. I had my opportunity and I let it pass. Now I must face the new path before me and try to save what little there is left of the father I knew", she looked at Batman in the eye, something few dared to do.

"So, you see, my position in all of this a difficult one. I want to do what is right, but I also want to save my father", she added.

Batman gave her a curt nod.

"What can you do to get Barbara back to us?" he asked.

Thalia looked at him sadly, "Alas, I have no power there. My father may be senile, but he is not stupid. He doesn't trust me as he used to. He does not trust me in matters where you are involved my love. My mission was only to coordinate her capture. I do now even know where they have taken her".

"So your father used you and left you behind?" asked Batman.

"You judge him too quickly. There was a time when there was still humanity and mercifulness left in him. But, whatever little was left has been shadowed completely by his greed and thirst for power. He is an evil man now. More then you could imagine him to be. There is nothing left of the father I knew and loved," she continued, he voice heavy with emotion.

"So we have no idea where he is or where he has taken Barbara", stated Batman.

"I am sorry my love, but he has his ways of . . . of controlling me. Methods that even the most strong-willed person cannot fight against", she said in a fearful voice.

"Aren't there any clues we can follow?" asked Batman.

Thalia shook her head, "I was never much of a detective my love, I leave that to you. I won't be of much use, for my father has kept me wisely in the dark. I can only promise you that I will help you as much as I can".

Batman nodded.

Dick has been soaking in the whole conversation. But, now he found it all too much.

"So, we have no idea where Barbara is or what that . . . that demon wants with her?" he asked incredulously.

Batman placed a hand on Dick's shoulder, "We'll find her. But now, all we can do is go to the cave and analyze the clue we have. There must be something that can point us to where Barbara is".

Dick hung his head and gave a short nod.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

- Lady Artemis -


	8. Chapter 7: Green with Envy

**Summary:** Batman and Nightwing try to find clues to lead them to Barbara with Thalia's help. But, Dick isn't so sure they can trust Thalia to help them . . . Can they? Will they be able to find Barbara in time, or will she be forced to become part of Ra's master plan?

**Chapter 7: Green with Envy**

Batman's eyes narrowed as he looked at the seeds that littered the floor of the rooftop where Barbara was last seen. He picked one up and placed into a small plastic bag. He turned around and handed it to Dick, who observed it closely before handing it back. Batman took the plastic bag from Dick and put it into one of the compartments in his utility belt. He motioned for Dick to follow him and he inspected the rest of the rooftop. Thalia watched as the two men walked around slowly.

"What is it that you are looking for?" she asked.

Batman touched the ground with his hand before answering, "Clues".

Dick nudged him, "There", he pointed.

Batman nodded and looked at the signs of struggle between Barbara and Ubu. Then they simply vanished. It was impossible for someone to just disappear into thin air without leaving some trace as to what direction they took. Both Batman and Dick knew that there were unusual circumstances involved. There would be no clues to come from this. They would have to hope the seeds could give them some clue to follow.

"Let's get back to the cave and analyze this", Batman said.

Dick pointed at Thalia, "What about her?"

"She comes with us. She's already been to the cave before", was the reply.

Dick though it best not to ask any questions about the matter. There would be plenty of time for that once this was over.

- - - - - -

**The Batcave**

Dick placed the seed they had found under the Batcomputer's microscope. This baby could analyze even the most tampered and damaged evidence. They would have to wait a few minutes while the computer did its work. Batman had gone to change, leaving Dick with Thalia.

"She loves you", said Thalia suddenly.

Dick's head snapped in her direction, "How would you know?"

Thalia stared at him hard for a moment. She didn't think it would do much good to tell him this, but he deserved to know.

"She asked me not to hurt you. I gave her one request and that was it"

Dick swallowed hard, "She did?"

Thalia nodded solemnly.

"And you kept your word", Dick said slowly.

"Contrary to what you may believe, I am a women of my word", said Thalia.

Dick scoffed, "Forgive me if I find it a little hard to believe coming from the woman who planned Barbara's capture".

Thalia sighed, "I know it may be hard to understand, but I only want to do what is right".

"How is helping your father doing what is right?" said Dick angrily.

Thalia's eyes blazed, "I'm helping him so that I can stop him when the time comes! If I don't help him, he will become suspicious and shut me out. And then no one will be able to stop him!"

Dick opened his mouth again, but Bruce cut him off, "ENOUGH!"

Both of them turned to look at him. Bruce had a towel around his shoulders and was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. And he had THE LOOK on his face.

"This isn't going to help find Barbara. Let's keep this civil so we can work together to get her back".

Dick nodded.

Bruce turned to Thalia, who also nodded.

They were all interrupted by a loud beeping from the Batcomputer. Dick turned around and began pressing buttons and typing commands into the keyboard. Lines of information came up on the screen. Bruce came up beside him and read over the information. He eyes narrowed as he brought up another file. He read over the information in that file, which was identical.

He turned to Dick, "There's only one person in Gotham those seeds could have come from".

Dick looked at both files, "Poison Ivy", then shaking his head, "But, she's in Arkham. It couldn't have been her".

"Just because she's on the inside doesn't mean someone couldn't have gotten to her", said Bruce.

Dick ran a hand through his hair, "But who? And how?"

"I don't know", replied Bruce.

- - - - - -

**Arkham Asylum**

Poison Ivy stood in front of the sink in her cell, filling a glass with water. She steadily carried it over to the window, where a small flower pot sat. She had been granted the one request to be able to keep a plant in her cell with her. But sadly, they doctors at Arkham had supplied her with forget-me-nots. She had been furious at first, to be caught in such a cliché, but she had given in, knowing that they were better than nothing. At least she had something to take care of, something to look forward to everyday. That was more than she could say about most of the other inmates here.

Apparently the doctors at Arkham found some sick pleasure in torturing the inmates. She had been given Harley Quinn and the Joker as neighbors, so she had to endure their endless bickering day after day. Not to mention getting caught up in it as well after her little joyride with Harley last time they were out on the town. The Joker wasn't too happy about Ivy trying to corrupt Harley and trying to convince her that she was better off without him.

She groaned as she heard Harley tap on the bullet-proof glass separating them. She was in the adjacent cell to Ivy's right. She turned around and gave her an acknowledging glance before heading over to the sink again.

"Hi Red", said Harley cheerfully.

"Hello Harley", said Ivy.

"Whatcha doing?"

"Watering my flowers again"

Harley grinned, "That's nice. Did you know that my puddin' is getting out tomorrow?"

"No"

Harley laughed, the shouted, "ISN'T THAT RIGHT PUDDIN'?"

Ivy sighed. Here we go again.

The Joker stood up from his bed in the adjacent cell to Ivy's left. He pressed his nose against the glass and gave a wide grin.

"Yes Harl, that is correct".

Harley jumped up and down, "See, I told you so!"

Ivy rolled her eyes, "Sorry if I don't join in your enthusiasm".

Harley ignored her, "Puddin', make sure you give the babies my love. Tell them I miss them SO much!"

"You mean those monstrous animals you keep as pets?" asked Ivy.

The Joker cut in, "Of course I will Harl. They always loved a good kick in the ribs!"

Harley gasped and pouted in the corner. The Joker never had been fond of the pet hyenas Harley had gotten him last Christmas. They did come in handy when pesky Bats were poking around their hideouts though.

Harley was about to open her mouth to protest, when a couple a guards came down the hall. All three inmates stared at them as they stopped in front of Ivy's cell. They opened it up and entered to cuff Ivy's hands before escorting her out.

"Guess I'll be checking out first, kids", she said with a wink.

Harley frowned, "How come you didn't tell me you were getting out, Red? I thought we were friends!"

Harley continued whining in the corner.

"Guess someone decided to backstab her friends Harl", growled the Joker.

Ivy swung her hips as she was walked out the hallway.

- - - - - -

**Arkham Interrogation Room**

The guards roughly pushed Ivy into a chair and handcuffed her to it. Ivy struggled, but was forced to sit, her eyes blazing with anger.

"Hey, I thought I was getting out!"

"You're not", said an all too familiar voice.

Ivy froze, and the guards nodded and left the room. Ivy was cowering in her chair now, her eyes on the shadow now approaching her.

Batman stood beside her and placed the plastic bag with the seed on the table in the middle of the room. Ivy eyed the seed like if it was going to eat her alive.

"Where did you get that?" Ivy asked in a small voice.

"Someone used your seeds to kidnap Batgirl. I want a name Ivy".

Poison Ivy looked up at Batman determinedly, "I don't know".

Batman frowned, "Don't make me ask again, Pamela".

Ivy flinched at the use of her real name. She hated that name, the name of her former, weaker self. But, she held her ground.

Her lips curved, "I told you I don't know".

Behind Batman came another figure, whose eyes were angrily fixed on Ivy. He walked up to her and grabbed her roughly, forcing her to her feet. Ivy tripped and fell to the floor, while the figure loomed over her. He picked her up and pushed her against the wall forcibly.

"Who did you give the seeds to Ivy? WHERE IS BATGIRL!" yelled Nightwing.

Ivy gasped when her back hit the concrete wall. But, she wouldn't be broken so easily. She wasn't Miss Pamela Isley anymore. She was Poison Ivy, goddess among men.

She smiled, "I'll tell you a secret little boy. Batgirl won't be coming home anytime soon".

Nightwing growled and grabbed Ivy's throat, pulling her up off her feet. Ivy began to gag as her air was cut off. Batman marched over and grabbed Nightwing's arms.

"Stop this at once! This is NOT going to get her back!"

Nightwing dropped Ivy, who kneeled on the floor, gasping for air. He turned around, his shoulders slumped. Batman placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I know it's hard. You have to be strong . . . for her".

"I just . . . I wish I had told her I loved her", said Nightwing in a trembling voice.

"Go and wait outside. I'll take care of this", said Batman.

Nightwing nodded and left the room. Batman turned around to face Poison Ivy, who was still rubbing her neck where Nightwing's hand had choked her. She looked up at Batman, a frightened look finally gracing her features. Batman knew she was ready to talk.

- - - - - -

**Wayne Manor **

Dick Grayson washed his face with cold water. He grabbed a towel and dried his face before looking at himself in the mirror. He had bags under his eyes, probably since he hadn't slept the past 48 hours. He was trying to keep himself together, but it was so hard, knowing that she was out there somewhere all alone. He only hoped that Bruce has been able to get information from the source Poison Ivy had given him. Apparently, at the prospect of her "babies" being confiscated for research and testing, Ivy had given her seeds to the last person Batman had expected. Harley Quinn.

Just before their latest capture, Harley and Ivy had teamed up with Livewire, a new criminal with the extraordinary ability to control electricity. Batgirl and Supergirl had joined forces to take them down, but Ivy had been captured before Harley, and she had used this window to give her seeds to Harley for safe-keeping. Although they were hardly safe with the like of Harley Quinn, something which quite baffled Batman as to why Ivy would ever give her seeds to Harley. Of course, she had sold the seeds the first chance she got to some drug dealer in exchange for a safe place to lay low until things blew over. The name of the dealer had been a one Jean Manaudou, a Frenchman who had found fortune in Gotham by selling popular European drugs.

Dick walked out of the bathroom and into the sitting room. Alfred soon appeared, carrying a warm cup of coffee.

"Here you are Master Richard, this should help a bit", he said.

Dick gladly accepted the coffee and began sipping it.

"Master Bruce shall be arriving shortly. He radioed in that he was on his was home", announced Alfred.

Dick nodded, "Do you know if he got any information on this Manaudou guy?"

"I'm afraid that Master Bruce did not mention anything about a Monsieur Manaudou, young sir", replied Alfred.

"I'm going to go down and meet him in the cave Alfred".

"As you wish Master Richard".

Dick walked down the stairs into the cave, sipping the cup of coffee the whole way. He needed the caffeine. It was going to be a rough couple of days, and he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep much until they had found Barbara. Once downstairs, he walked over to the computer and sat down, waiting for Bruce to arrive.

A few minutes later, the Batmobile sped into the cave, stopping abruptly in it's parking spot. Batman jumped out of the car as the top opened and walked swiftly over to Dick. Dick looked at him, questioning him with merely a glance.

"I ended up at the docks questioning some of Manaudou's men. Apparently his operation is being run by someone else right now. He had to leave town".

Dick stood up, "Where did he go?"

Batman looked him straight in the eye, "Back home for a family emergency".

Despite the situation, Dick smiled, "So he's going to collect his pay from Ra's".

Batman walked over to the computer. He pulled his mask off on the way and grabbed a towel to run across his face. He turned on the intercom to the Manor.

"Yes Master Bruce?"

"Alfred, make arrangements, Dick and I are going to travel".

"Of course Master Bruce. And where would you be traveling to?" inquired Alfred.

Bruce looked at Dick before saying, " Paris".

"Consider it done, Sir"

"Thank you Alfred".

" Paris?" asked Dick.

Bruce nodded, " Paris".

- - - - - -

Well I finally decided to revive this story since college is finally out for the summer and let's just say I've had lots of free time on my hands. I made a couple changes to the previous chapters in order to follow the new direction of the story. Hopefully I have not let any of you down, but I think I have a better feel for where I want to go with this. It just started out as a 1 chapter this, but it blossomed into something much better! PLEASE read and review!

- Lady Artemis -


	9. Chapter 8: Falling Into The Dark

**Author's Note:** This chapter refers to Barbara's nightmare in the episode "Over the Edge", in which she is gassed by the Scarecrow and experiences her fears about her secret about Batgirl being revealed.

**Summary:** Barbara's thoughts and experiences in her captive state. Can she figure out where she is and why? Should she hope for the best and think that Bruce and Dick will come to her rescue, or will she have to get herself out of this one? Perhaps it will be too late for her . . .

**Chapter 8: Falling into the Dark**

Batgirl ran up the stairs. There were so many stairs. But she kept on running; she couldn't let him get away. Once she reaches the rooftop, she searches around for him. She sees him standing at the ledge, his coat blowing in the wind. The time had come to stop him, and she lunges, tackling him from behind. She gasps as she finds herself on top of an empty coat and hat, which had been sitting on an antenna. She curses, where did he go? She realizes it is a trap too late. The Scarecrow came up from behind her and smacked her with his cane. And then she was falling . . . falling forever. Falling into the darkness.

I screamed as I woke up; sweat dripping down my face and neck. I was gasping for air as I clutched at my chest. The memories of the dream were still fresh in my head. Tim and Bruce running away from the police . . . Dick begin arrested . . . the funeral . . . my Dad fighting Bruce . . . then Bane . . . oh god. Why wouldn't it stop? I had already gone through this, already had this dream before. Now I had that same dream every night. Either this dream or my old nightmare . . . the one about that night, except it only ended with . . . death. Why was I having these dreams? Where my mistakes coming back to haunt me now? Then as the scenes faded from my mind I knew why this was happening. I was captive; the demon's prisoner.

I had never thought I would have this dream again. That time the Scarecrow had gassed me, it had been so real. The consequences of the life I had chosen had been shown to me and they had been so . . . devastating. The thought that something like that would actually happen; that all the people I cared about could be hurt in that way. I could only shiver at the thought. I had to second guess all the decisions I had ever made about being Batgirl after that. But I knew that if I had never become Batgirl . . . that would have been even more devastating. Dad would probably be dead, Dick and Bruce would have been at each other's throats, Bruce would be alone, Tim would have a very different life, and I would have never known love, never known what it was to be a part of something bigger and special.

I looked around and saw I was still in my stony prison. I tried to get up, but the chains around my feet didn't let me go far and I fell to my knees. I couldn't understand it . . . what did he want with me? How could I possibly be of any importance to his plan for world domination? I don't think I could endure anymore of this torture. The Scarecrow's fear gas was becoming more than I could bear. If I had to see anymore death . . . I don't know how much longer I could handle it.

Ra's watched the video camera as the person known as Batgirl cowered in a corner of her cell, hugging her knees. She was turning out to be more of a challenge than expected. He had thought they would have broken her within a few days. But she was strong, much stronger than anticipated. But it was just as well, he needed someone strong for what he was planning. He hoped that the fear gas would do its job soon. He needed to break her spirit before he could continue on with his plans.

Ubu approached him, "My lord, there is a gentleman here to see you".

"Ah yes, I expected Manaudou would be arriving soon. Show him in, Ubu", replied Ra's.

Ubu bowed, "As you wish my lord".

Jean Manaudou walked in briskly. He was a tall man, as well as lean and athletic. His dark curly hair messily covered his head. He wore a gray pinstriped suit with a black collarless shirt underneath. He was carrying a metallic briefcase. He walked up to Ra's and gave a small bow.

"I hope ze items you requested were to your liking, Monsieur Ghul", the Frenchman said.

Ra's nodded, "Indeed, Ubu tells me the seeds were of great use in the capture of the young lady. And this fear gas has also been most useful. It was most generous on your part to add it to the package".

"I am glad zat you are pleased with ze results", replied Manaudou.

Ra's walked over to his desk, "Indeed, I am most pleased with the results. And you shall be rewarded for your efforts".

Manaudou smiled, he walked up to the desk and placed the briefcase on it, opening it and turning it. Ra's opened a drawer in his desk, revealing bills of American dollars in stacks. He placed about a dozen of the stacks into the briefcase before shutting it and turning it back to face its owner. Manaudou gave another small bow before grabbing the suitcase and walking out of the room. Ubu walked up to Ra's.

"Do you wish me to dispose of him?" asked Ubu.

Ra's shook his head, "No, Manaudou may still be of use to us. Let him enjoy what little time he has left".

- - - - - -

**Wayne Manor**

"But I want to go!" said a distressed Tim.

Bruce frowned, "Tim, you can't go. It's too dangerous and I need you here to take care of Gotham".

Tim raised his arms, "How am I supposed to take care of Gotham all by myself?"

Bruce was about to answer when Dick walked into the room.

"Are we all set?" asked Dick.

Bruce nodded, "I was just explaining to Tim how I need him to stay here and watch over things".

"And I was just explaining to Bruce that there's no way in hell I can do that all alone", grumbled Tim.

Dick chuckled, "Oh Kid, when are you going to learn? Bruce always has a plan".

Tim gave him a questioning look.

"He brought back up", said Dick, patting Tim on the head.

"Back up?" asked Tim.

Bruce nodded, "Back up".

Tim looked from Bruce to Dick, "What back up?"

Before anyone could answer there was a knock at the front door. Alfred appeared to answer it.

Dick smirked, "There's our back up".

Alfred returned shortly and announced, "A Mister Kent here to see you sir".

"Bring him in Alfred", said Bruce.

In walked Clark Kent, reporter for the Daily News. He was very tall and well built . . . nothing like a reporter. At least that's what Tim thought. Tim eyed him suspiciously.

"This is my back up? Some lousy reporter? Are you kidding?" Tim protested.

Bruce gave the smallest of smirks, "He thinks you're just some lousy reporter Clark".

Clark smiled at Tim, "Well I suppose if we're going to work together, he might as well know my little secret".

Tim stared at him, "What secret?"

Dick laughed, "Maybe you should show him, right Sups?"

Clark sighed, "How many times have I told you not to call me that Richard?"

"How many times have I told you not to call me Richard", retorted Dick.

Clark chuckled, "Fair enough".

"Can somebody tell me what's going on here?" asked a clueless Tim.

Everyone turned to look at Tim. Clark unbuttoned his shirt to reveal the Superman 'S' logo underneath. Tim's jaw dropped open as he stared for a minute before he snapped it shut.

"You're kidding, right?" Tim gasped.

"I'm afraid not, Tim", said Bruce.

"Superman is going to be my back up?" asked Tim incredulously.

Bruce placed a hand on his shoulder, "Not exactly. Clark is going to be posing as Batman until Dick and I return".

"WHAT!" shouted Tim and Dick in unison.

"I'm going to be taking on the mantel of the Bat temporarily", explained Clark.

"But how?" asked Tim.

Clark gave a small grin, "My name is Bruce Wayne", he said in Bruce's voice.

Tim's jaw dropped for the second time.

"He's a man of many talents", quipped Dick.

- - - - - -

I was so tired. I was all alone with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company. Each day went by slowly, minute by minute, hour by hour. It was getting harder and harder to keep my wits about me. I dreaded nightfall. It was then when Ubu would come into my cell and administer more of the fear gas. Then the nightmares would consume me and I would be shivering and sweating the rest of the night. It had been days since I had slept for more than an hour at a time. I was exhausted.

I was at my breaking point. Which was what Ra's wanted. Why else would he expose me to the Scarecrow's fear gas night after night if not to break me down for whatever dark purpose he had in mind? I had fought against its effects for days now, but it was getting harder and harder. Soon, I would be engulfed by my fears, and become no more than part of my own nightmare.

I sat in the corner of the cell, watching the sun go down and wishing I were somewhere else . . . anywhere. Soon Ubu would come and I would be forced to relive my nightmares, all my insecurities, all my fears. Tonight would be the last night, I could feel it. Tonight would be the night that Ra's would get his wish. My determination was gone . . . all I wanted was for it to be over. I wanted the images to go away.

I cowered when I heard the door down the hallway creak open. Heavy footsteps sounded through the hall as they came closer towards my cell. I began shaking uncontrollably as the sound of a key being pushed in the lock echoed all around me. The click of the lock being opened pounded in my ears and I watched as the heavy door was pushed open. Ubu's figure loomed in the doorway and he placed a small sphere by the door. He gave me an evil grin before pulling the door back closed. His footsteps died away as he exited the area. Then, the gas began leaking from the sphere. It was time. I covered my ears with my hands to stop the screaming . . . except it was me who was screaming.

- - - - - -

**Paris, France**

Dick crouched silently as he saw a man exited the building he was watching. The man looked over his shoulder several times before turning the corner. Once the man was out of sight, Dick gave Bruce the 'all clear' sign. Bruce moved quickly into the alley next to the building and disappeared into the darkness. Dick followed a few seconds later. Bruce was quietly picking the lock to one of the building's windows. The latch clicked open and Bruce gave Dick a sign to move in.

"So we're sure this Manaudou guy is in here", whispered Dick.

"My contact is reliable".

"How can you be sure?"

Bruce stared at him, "Because I made sure to persuade him that it was in his best interest to tell me the exact location of his employer".

Dick grinned to himself. Even as Bruce Wayne, he was the Bat.

Dick pulled himself in through the window and dropped to the floor. He looked around before giving Bruce a soft whistle to signal that it was all clear. Moments later Bruce was standing next to him.

"I still don't understand why we couldn't use our suits", grumbled Dick.

"We couldn't have Batman spotted in Paris while he was still running around Gotham, now could we?"

"Except its NOT Batman running around Gotham", hissed Dick.

Bruce glared at him, "Nobody knows that. And that's the way it's going to stay".

Dick sighed. He was still just as stubborn as always. "Let's just get this over with".

Bruce moved forward. Dick had always wondered how he could just flow over the ground without a sound, without leaving a trace. And the answer was simple. He was Batman. Dick followed him as they made their way to the upper levels. Their contact had given them the precise location of Manaudou's office in the building. It was amazing what a little Bat talk could do to a person. Soon, they were inside Manaudou's office. Dick started going through the filing cabinets, while Bruce searched the room. Dick finally came across some files marked 'Gotham City'. He flipped through the pages, skimming each one with his trained eyes.

"I got something", muttered Dick, handing Bruce a piece of paper.

Bruce took it and looked it over, "This is Manaudou's log of all shipments coming in and out of Gotham. All the shipments are accounted for except these two that came in within a week of each other. Manaudou probably sent Ivy's seeds out here under the cover of his own operation so he could get them to Ra's without having to give away their destination".

"Then we don't have a lead to where they went then", said Dick.

"Not necessarily. Those shipments had to come through here first. That means they were stored here for some time before going to Ra's. Manaudou was probably counting on a lot of money from this deal, so he had to have some insurance against Ra's", deduced Bruce.

Dick nodded, "So he probably kept some of the goods himself to make sure Ra's came through with the payment".

"Exactly"

Dick grinned; he had forgotten how well they worked together. They knew what the other was thinking, therefore they could deduce where the other was going with a clue or idea. Bruce had trained him well, Dick couldn't deny that. For the most part, Bruce had contributed a large part to who we was today. They had their differences, but at least now Dick had the hope that they could work them out and try to have some sort of relationship. Even if he knew he would never return to neither the Manor to live, nor the Batcave to join the team again.

"That means he kept them stored right here", added Bruce.

Dick started to the door, "Let's get downstairs into that storage room".

Bruce followed him as they made their way down into the storage area of the building. They began searching the area, which was full of boxes and wooden crates. There were also shelves of items that were labeled and numbered. Dick stared at the label, trying to connect the number with it. Then, he got an idea.

"Let me see the shipment log again", said Dick.

Bruce handed it to him. Dick studied the paper carefully. The last item on the log was a shipment of chemicals and hardware tools dated March 11; only a few days ago. He began moving around the shelves until he got to the 0311 numbers. 0311 stood for March 11, which was the date the shipment had arrived in France. Now, he just had to figure out the second set of numbers in the code. He looked at the log again. There was the date of arrival, the weight of the shipment, the amount of items in the shipment, and the date it had left for France . . . there were so many possibilities. The shipment had come all the way from California apparently. Why would Manaudou send for hardware tools all the way from California, when he could get them from the east coast? It was then that Dick noticed the weight of the shipment . . . twenty pounds. Surely a shipment of chemicals and hardware tools would weigh much more than that . . . now to he just had to figure out the damn code. If the first set of numbers was the date it had arrived, maybe the second was the date it had left for France, which was March 4. Dick looked at the shelf for a 0311-0304. BINGO! There it was on the fourth shelf.

"Bruce, over here . . . I think I found it"

The two of them reached up for the box and set if down on the ground. Bruce took out a pocket knife to slit open the box. Dick ripped the box wide open so they could see what was in it. Inside was a small plastic bag containing about 20 or more seeds . . . Poison Ivy's seeds. There was no doubt they were Ivy's, they had analyzed the seeds they had found on the rooftop thoroughly and there was no mistaking that these seeds were the same. Along with the plastic bag was a large metal container, which had to weigh at least ten to fifteen pounds. Dick reached for it and opened the latch which held it shut. When the container opened, smoke came out of it. It was a temperature control container, usually used to transport items that need to be kept at cooler temperatures. Inside were several vials of a clear liquid.

Bruce stared at the vials with narrowed eyes, "We need to leave now".

"What!" asked a confused Dick. He turned to Bruce, "What is it?"

"Those vials, don't you know what that is?"

Dick gave him a questioning look, "What do you mean, do I know what it is? Bruce, what's wrong?"

Bruce looked at Dick sadly, "Those are vials filled with the Scarecrow's fear gas".

Dick gasped, "What would Ra's want with that? I mean he couldn't have enough fear gas to take a whole city, much less to take over the world".

"He doesn't want to gas a whole city or the world Dick. He's going to use it on Barbara", said Bruce gravely.

"What!" yelled Dick.

Bruce placed a hand on his shoulder, "One time a while back, Barbara was infected with the fear gas. What she saw, it was horrible. It took a while for her to get back to herself. If Ra's has the same amount of gas that there is in this container . . . if he gives her one vial per day. He could drive her mad in a few weeks".

Dick shook his head, "What do you mean drive her mad? Why would he want to do that?"

"The good news is . . . "

Dick cut him off, "Good news? There's no good news about this Bruce . . . you're telling me he wants to drive Babs crazy and there is GOOD NEWS!"

Bruce grabbed both of Dick's shoulder and shook him gently, "Dick, calm down. I'm trying to tell you that I know Ra's. He doesn't want to drive Barbara mad. That would be beneath him. He merely wants to break her down, make her manageable".

"Manageable for what", spat Dick.

"He wants to take her to the Lazarus Pit".

Dick pushed Bruce away, "What? Take her to the Lazarus Pit? You mean he wants to make her . . . he wants her to be", Dick felt sick to his stomach.

"He wants an heir Dick, and Barbara can either be that heir for him, or she can produce an heir for him. Either way, he has to break her down before he can do that", replied Bruce.

Dick fell to his knees, "Why Barbara, why would he pick her out of all the people in the world?"

"Because Dick, she has every quality he could ever want in an heir. She is highly trained, smart, beautiful, and she's Batgirl. What better way to be sure that you and I would be involved? He's playing with us . . . he's playing with me".

Dick looked up at Bruce, "She's not going to be the same is she? He's going to destroy her spirit".

Bruce kneeled next to Dick, "It is very possible that when we find her, Barbara will be a very different person. But that doesn't mean we can't get her back. You just have to remind her who she is and what is real. She is going to be living in an alternate reality that Ra's will create for her once he has broken down her defenses with the fear gas. Dick, you have to guide her back to reality. She has to remember who she is".

"How am I supposed to do that?"

Bruce patted his shoulder, "We'll find a way Dick".

Dick nodded and got up to his feet, "So where is this Lazarus Pit?"

"It's a long story".

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

Let me know what you think so far. Do you like the direction this is going in? I'm open to all suggestions . . . let me know what you think! READ AND REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis –


	10. Chapter 9: Dreams and Memories

**Summary: **Barbara has reached her breaking point and Ra's is oh so very close to successfully completing his plan. Barbara's role in Ra's plan in finally revealed to the horror of Bruce and Dick. Will they be able to stop Ra's from calling on ancient powers to bring on forbidden life, or will Barbara be lost forever? Only time will tell . . .

**Chapter 9: Dreams and Memories**

**Paris, France**

Bruce barged into the safe house they had been using the past few days in Paris. He marched straight up the stairs and in the front door of their apartment. Once inside, he made his way straight to Thalia's room and threw open the door. Thalia jumped at the sound of the door crashing into the wall and gathered the sheets around as if they would protect her from Bruce's rage.

"What do you know about the Lazarus Pits?" demanded Bruce.

Dick watched in shock as Bruce grabbed Thalia by the wrist and pulled her out of the bed. She stumbled and fell onto the ground, the sheets still clutched in her grasp.

"What is going on? Why do you want to know about the Lazarus Pits? Father has been using them for ages, you know that", she said in a frightened voice.

"What did he want the fear gas for Thalia", growled an enraged Bruce.

Thalia swallowed hard, "What fear gas? Father never said anything to me about this fear gas. I already told you, he was keeping me in the dark about his plans. He knew I was against his wishes to use an innocent to pursue his own evil plans, so he didn't tell me anything!"

Bruce grabbed Thalia and pulled her to her feet, "He didn't tell you, but you knew . . . you know what he's planning. You found out and that's why you came to me, that's why you're helping us".

Dick watched intently as Thalia crumbled onto the bed, sobbing into her hands. Her body shook with every sob and she shook her head desperately.

"I tried to stop it from happening. When I found out, it was so horrible. I knew then that my father . . . he's not my father anymore. He's turned into a monster. He cares for no one and believes in nothing anymore. He no longer seeks the world he once thought he could make. All he wants now is to cause grief and pain. All he seeks is vengeance from a world that did not understand him . . . he seeks vengeance from you", she whispered.

Bruce sat down next to her and placed an arm around her, "You're not him Thalia. You still have a chance to make some good with you life. Your father has long lost that chance . . . he is lost down the path he chose for himself. That doesn't mean you have to follow him. I know that you are not like him, you have good in you Thalia".

"I've committed so many crimes in my loyalty to my father. I just thought that I would never be able to redeem myself from them".

"You've saved me and helped me time and time again to stop your father. He is your father, so of course you feel you must be loyal to him. But, don't allow him to control your life and your decisions. Don't let him win Thalia".

Thalia smiled at him, "Thank you beloved. Thank you for letting me finally see what I must do. I need to accept that my father is no longer the man I loved so dearly. He must be stopped".

Dick decided to cut in, "Will you help us?"

Thalia looked at the young man and nodded, "Yes, I will help you".

"So what can you tell us about these Lazarus Pits?"

"The Lazarus Pits are a natural phenomenon used by my father to regenerate his body. The substance found in the pits is a chemical blend of unknown composition, seemingly originating from somewhere within the Earth's crust. The chemicals can rejuvenate the sick and the dying. For some unknown reason, the substance only bubbles to the surface at certain key points around the globe. Over the years, father has slowly located all of the Lazarus Pits and destroyed each and every one of them after using it. According to him, he has destroyed them all, save one", explained Thalia.

"Where is it?" asked Bruce.

Thalia stared at the window, "Deep in the heart of Romania".

- - - - - -

It was dark. It was always so dark. Where was the light? I couldn't remember where I was, what day it was, and it was getting harder and harder to remember anything. Soon, I would not remember who I was. And then Ra's al Ghul would have his way with me. He would put into action whatever evil plan it was he had in mind. I had held on as long as I could. I had tried to keep Dick clear in my mind, something I could hold on to. It was this that had helped me stay sane this long. But, I was falling apart and the time was near for a complete breakdown.

I saw Robin's face before me, he was smiling at me. Then a flash passed and this time he was angry, yelling at me from a distance. I could feel tears on my face as I screamed at him to stop. Another flash and I was on a rooftop, fighting the Joker's henchmen. Bullets were streaming through the air and I dove out of their way, rolling across the floor and out of harm's way. I heard Batman's voice yelling at me to get out of the way, and something hit me hard and the wind was knocked out of me. Soon, I was falling . . . falling forever. Yet another flash, Batman and Robin were at each other's throats, they were fighting and I was trying to stop them. I was begging them to stop, my face bright with tears. But, they pushed me away and continued their assault on each other. I screamed as a watched them fall over the edge of the building. I dropped to my knees and watched them fall . . . falling into the darkness.

"Please . . . please stop", I moaned.

I was huddled in the middle of my cell, hugging my knees and rocking back and forth. I was shaking uncontrollably and my hair was damp with sweat. I could no longer control the dreams or thoughts creeping into my mind. They were coming to me even when I was awake now. The end was finally here. I could not separate dream from reality. It was as if I was a part of the dreams now or they were a part of me. Horrible scenes kept flashing before my eyes. I just wanted it all to stop and go away.

Ra's al Ghul watched as the pathetic figure of the once strong and defiant young woman, crumbled to the floor and shuddered without stopping. An evil smile crept onto his lips. It was time. She was broken and soon his plans would be in full motion.

"Ubu", he called.

Ubu materialized before him, "Yes, my lord?"

"Make preparations for the ceremony; it is time", said Ra's as he stood up from his large armchair.

"Right away my lord", Ubu replied as he quickly left the room.

- - - - - -

**Paris, France**

"What else can you tell us about your father's plans?" asked Bruce.

Thalia frowned, "He has many faithful servants. Servants who are more than willing to die for him".

"Like that guy that trashed Bab's place?" asked Dick.

Thalia glanced at Dick before answering, "That is Ubu, my father's most faithful and most skilled servant. He is an especially dangerous fighter, he left the League of Assassins to serve my father".

"League of Assassins?" inquired Dick.

"The League of Assassins is an organization of criminals which Ra's used to be head of. Only the most dangerous and skilled assassins can join the league. The League's original purpose was to fight injustice in the world, but the League lacked compassion and began killing as they wished, without true justice. They adopted a new policy that whoever did not fulfill a mission would in turn become a target of the League. Now they are called upon by other criminal organizations when they cannot eliminate a target. Ra's lost control of the League many years ago, but now it is unknown who leads the organization", explained Bruce.

"Father abandoned them when they refused to follow through with his plans. Once he could no longer control them, he left them to fend for themselves. He still had some moral left back them and didn't want to be involved with senseless murder", added Thalia.

Dick raised an eyebrow, "So what does the League have to do with your father's plan?"

Thalia sighed, "A few of the League's original members left with my father, Ubu included. They are his most trusted servants. They are also the most dangerous and deadly, having been instructed in the ancient ways of the ninja. They have also been taught ancient Arabic ways of fighting. They will be difficult to overpower if we are to attack the compound in Romania".

Bruce took out a large map of Romania and placed it on the desk by the bed, "Where is the compound located?"

Thalia did not even look at the map, "Castle Dracula".

"That's impossible", stated Dick, "That's an important tourist landmark. There is no way Ra's can be hiding there".

Thalia smiled, "That is what father wants you to think. Most people believe Count Dracula's castle to be in Brasov. According to legend, Castle Bran is said to have been the home to the evil that was Dracula. But the legend is wrong. My father found the true home of Dracula. It is much deeper in the Transylvanian Alps . . . far from any civilization. Deep in the heart of the mountains and the forest. There lies the true Castle Dracula, and my father's compound".

Dick stifled a laugh, "You're kidding right? Castle Dracula? As in Count Dracula's house? Count Dracula, the vampire? Tell me this is a joke . . . "

Bruce simply stared at the map, his eyes narrowed and his lips pushed into a thin line.

"We should leave as soon as possible", said Bruce sternly.

Thalia nodded, "We should leave at once. Time is a luxury we do not have".

- - - - - -

**Transylvania, Romania**

It had taken less than 12 hours for Bruce to arrange for transportation to Romania and arrive there safely. Luckily, Bruce had thought to keep the Batplane close by just in case. It was a good thing too, because their destination was isolated from any major cities. There was a small town about a hundred miles away near the base of the mountains. The only bad news was that the Batplane could only take them so far, before they would have to make the rest of the journey on foot.

The group had made it up into the Transylvanian Alps successfully and were following the path pointed out to them by Thalia, who had been coming to this place every since she was a child. It was the pride of Ra's collection of homes, not because it was the largest and most luxurious, but because of the history behind it that only he and his daughter knew. As far as it was known, the true home of Vlad Dracula was Bran Castle in Brasov. But Ra's had known the truth for many years. How did he know this? It was quite simple. Ra's had been alive in the 1400s and had known and lived the legend of Dracula. Many people had taken great pains to cover up the truth about what had happened, only to have it replaced with a legend that was notorious for its mystery.

It had been several hours of steadily hiking up the mountainside, when it happened. A huge blizzard hit the group, making it impossible to see or move any farther. They set up a tent to wait out the storm with a large fire inside.

"We don't have time for this blizzard", growled Dick.

Bruce took out some food from his pack, "We don't have a choice, we can't hike around outside in that weather".

"Each minute we waste in here is one minute less we have to save Barbara!" hissed Dick.

"We're no good to her if we're frozen outside", pointed out Bruce.

It was Thalia who placed a hand on Dick's shoulder, "Don't worry, we shall get to her".

Dick sighed, "I hope you're right".

- - - - - -

**Castle Dracula**

It was time. Ra's picked up the large black book off his desk. He fingered it gently before putting it under his arm and walking out of the room. That book had a long history with Ra's. It went back thousands of years; back to when Ra's had first discovered the Lazarus Pits.

_- -: Flashback :- - _

_Ra's al Ghul. It was Arabic for the demon's head. It suited him. He had been born into an Arabic tribe, nomads who traveled their ancestor's lands year after year. It was his interest in science that had taken him away from the life he knew. It was the only way he would be able to satisfy his curiosities about the world he lived in. So he left his life as a nomad to travel to the city, where he could pursue his interest in knowledge. Many years passed and he had become a respected physician in the community. He had met the most beautiful and intelligent woman he had ever seen. Her name was Sora and he loved her with all of his heart and soul. Ra's had discovered the secret of the Lazarus Pits not long after he had married Sora. He found it outside the city limits, in the desert. He had used his knowledge of the Pit's powers to save their dying prince. But, the price to pay for the Pit's gift was one's sanity. The prince emerged from the Pit insane and he had killed Sora with his bare hands, much to Ra's dismay. _

_Sora's death drove Ra's to the brink of insanity. He roamed the lands aimlessly for weeks, without any sense or purpose in life. Weeks turned to months and soon he found himself in the lands of Ancient Egypt. He visited the temples of their gods and prayed for his wife. It was the first and last time Ra's al Ghul prayed for anything. His wife was dead and praying would not bring her back. He viewed that day as one of weakness, something that would never happen again. He only had one purpose now, to fight against all injustice in the world. That and to somehow find a way to bring Sora back to him. It was then that his quest as the demon's head began. It was around that time he had heard of the Book of the Dead. A book that was thought to be unholy because of what it could do . . . it contained the incantations that could bring a dead body back to life. But it was too well protected for him to attempt to retrieve it. But he could be patient. He had the Pits to give him all the time in the world._

_- -: End Flashback :- -_

He had been patient. He had waited for several centuries and now it was time. He would bring Sora back to him and they would have an heir. An heir that would become the greatest ruler the world had seen. It was time and the girl was ready for the ceremony. Ra's smiled as he walked down the hall.

It had been a complete coincidence that the underground pool in the dungeons of Castle Dracula was in fact a Lazarus Pit. Ra's had been surprised himself to discover it. But then again he should have expected nothing less from his good friend, Vlad Dracula. Had it not been for Dracula's curse, he would have achieved a great many things. Ra's had been saddened to hear of his friend's misfortune. After the massacres that had occurred in Transylvania and throughout Romania, there had few people left who knew the truth. And now Ra's was truly the only one left who knew about the truth to the Dracula legend.

Ubu had prepared everything as instructed. There were fires blazing around the Pit along with several of Ra's faithful men standing guard at posts around the room. A lush Persian rug had been placed at the side of the Lazarus Pit, ready for the ceremony to begin. Ra's lowered himself to his knees and placed the Book of the Dead on a golden stand before him. It had taken him much effort to find this book. He had used all his strength and resources to find it hidden deep in the heart of what had been Ancient Egypt. It had been hidden in Hamunaptra, City of the Dead, so that it would never be opened nor read. Inside the statue of Anubis had been where Ra's had finally found it.

Ra's turned to Ubu, "Bring the girl".

Ubu bowed and left the room.

Ra's then instructed many of the guards to gather in a circle around the Pit. They all kneel and begin to chant in a foreign tongue. Ra's kneels in front of the book again and ever so gently opens the book made of black stone. An eerie wind flows through the room, sending shivers down everyone's spines. But they have come too far to give up now . . . they were so close. Ra's begins to flip through the pages, until he finds the page where the needed incantations are found.

Ubu carries in an unconscious Barbara and places her on a golden altar before Ra's. Ra's nods to Ubu, who joins the circle of men around the Pit and begins to chant along with them.

- - - - - -

I groaned as I slowly open my eyes. I gasp at the sudden realization that there are flames dancing before me only inches away. But experience told me to lie still until I had assessed the situation. My eyes expertly scanned the room, taking in all the sites and sounds going on. I saw Ra's men kneeled around me in a large circle, chanting in some unknown language to me. And next to me, Ra's was busy studying a big black book, unaware that I had woken up.

Ra's al Ghul stood up and finally began chanting the incantations from the book. I shut my eyes tight so he would not see that I was awake. After a few moments, I open them a crack to see that Ra's had turned to his men to continue the chant. I look around frantically, trying to find an escape, anything to get out of that place. My eyes catch a large pool of water nearby, which was beginning to bubble. I struggle against the ropes that hold my feet and hands tight.

As Ra's continues to read from the Book of the Dead, the liquid inside the Lazarus Pit begins to swirl and a mist begins to fill the room. The bubbling inside the Pit becomes more intense, and it turns a dark gray. He turns to look at the altar and sees that I am awake and struggling against my bonds. He walks forwards towards me and leans towards me until his lips are brushing against my ear.

"Prepare to fulfill your destiny my dear. Too long has my love been kept away, and you shall be the answer to my quest to release her".

My eyes widened as I saw the mist suddenly start to swirl along with the water over the pool of water. The mist began to rise and creep slowly towards me. I struggled harder, my breath turning short and uneven. My heart was beating so fast . . . I was starting to panic. The mist was upon me now, licking at my skin. My body had gone cold and I was shivering uncontrollably. A very strange sensation came over me as I felt myself being freed of my bonds. I stood up slowly on uncertain feet.

Then it was like I was being hit by a linebacker as flashes came before my eyes. Flashes of things I didn't know, things that had happened a long time ago. The force of the memories was so strong that I was sent flying into the air and slammed against a wall. These images kept swarming in my brain. I tried to fight them, knowing that they weren't mine. I had to keep my senses about me, but it was so hard. I was already so weak.

The memories invading my mind were soon joined by my own nightmares, and it was more than I could bear. I rolled up into a fetal position on the hard stone floor. Tears began streaming down my face. I was loosing the battle. I could see Dick's face now . . . he was saying goodbye to me. Where was he going? Then he was flying across the Gotham rooftops, except I wasn't by his side. He had left me behind. I could see my small figure standing all alone on a rooftop as he moved farther and farther away from me. And then he was gone . . .

That was when everything went black.

- - - - - -

TBC . . .

After some technical difficulties, I am back on track and ready to finish this story. I must admit that I love giving you guys these cliffhangers, but it makes the story more exciting! Anyways please let me know your thoughts. READ AND REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


	11. Chapter 10: Mind Over Body

**Summary: Barbara must partake in a battle of wits to keep her mind and memories from being torn away from her. But can she beat Sora and Ra's at their own game, or will she be lost forever? **

**Chapter 10: Mind Over Body**

Dick rubbed his hands together in an attempt to keep them warm. His attempt was unsuccessful. He was starting to get impatient as he looked over Bruce's shoulder to see what he was doing. Thalia was next to Dick, calmly watching Bruce work on the lock of a side door leading into what they knew as Castle Dracula. She had instructed them to enter here because it had been used as a mere servant's entrance for as long as she could remember. This would lead into the main living quarters, but then they would have to make their way through the castle to the dungeons, which was where her father conducted his "business". She had also informed them that while the dungeons contained high level security, the rest of the castle was mostly unguarded for the most part except for the few guards posted at key points within the living quarters and the grounds. Luckily for them, the blizzard had caused all the guards to abandon their posts on the grounds and seek refuge inside the living quarters. More specifically the kitchen, were they had badgered the cook into making them hot cocoa.

Dick gave an exasperated sigh and started pacing back and forth from the door. Since when did it take Bruce this long to pick a lock? Then again, Bruce had never needed to pick a lock that was hundreds of years old.

"Got it", growled out Bruce finally and the door creaked open.

The three of them quickly entered the hallway and shut the door behind them. They were all glad to escape the ruthless blizzard. Those winds had been unforgiving and the temperature was probably still continuing to drop steadily.

"Loose everything we don't need", ordered Bruce.

They all began peeling off layer upon layer of clothing. It was a little chilly inside the castle, but nothing like what they had experienced outside. Soon, all they had left was a GPS system, their utility belts, and some flashlights. Thalia removed a handgun from her discarded coat and tucked it into the back of her pants.

"Is that really necessary?" asked Bruce.

Thalia looked at him skeptically, "You do realize that over half the men we shall face are former members of the League? Of course it is necessary. You may have skills to match theirs, but this is my only protection".

Bruce nodded and said nothing more.

"Jesus, this place gives me the creeps", murmured Dick.

"Its purpose was to help feed the legend that was Dracula. People were terrified to step foot in this place for hundreds of years. But I know its secrets", Thalia pronounced.

"Secrets?" inquired Bruce.

Thalia gave him a knowing smile. She walked halfway down the hall and opened the door to a closet. Bruce followed and peered inside. There were several winter coats and a few pairs of boots inside. He turned to Thalia and gave her a questioning look. Thalia stifled a small laugh before reaching into the closet and giving the back panel a firm push. It budged the tiniest bit. She gave it another push, harder this time. The panel moved a bit more. Bruce stopped her from giving it another push.

"Dick, give me a hand with this", Bruce called out.

Dick walked over and between the two of them, they pushed the panel open. It was a secret passageway. Thalia stepped into it and flicked on her flashlight. The light poured into the tunnel, showing them a set of stone steps leading down into the ground. After that there was just more darkness. Thalia turned to the two men and motioned them to follow her.

"This passage leads to the dungeons. That is where my father would be keeping her", she said.

"Lead the way", answered Bruce.

Dick sighed, "You know, this isn't really helping with the whole creepy situation".

- - - - - -

**The Dungeons**

"Wake up my dear"

My eyes shot opened and I saw Ra's blurry face before me. I felt a panic grip my heart and I tried to open my mouth to yell for him to get away from me, but instead I felt a smile form on my lips. I tried to force my arms forward to push him away from me, but instead they received him into a warm embrace. I tried with all my might to make myself get up and run away from this horrible place, but my legs wouldn't even budge. It was like I was watching myself and had no control over what I did or what happened to me.

_What is going on? Why won't my body do what I want it to do? This can't be good . . . _

"Sora", said Ra's.

I resisted, but out of my lips came, "My love".

_My love? Ra's is not my love! What the hell is going on?_

Ra's held my chin in his hand, "It is time", he said gently.

"_It is time"_

_Who said that? This can't be right. Why is there a voice in my head?_

"_Barbara, it is time for you to go now"_

_Go where? I'm not going anywhere. I won't let you do this to me. This is MY mind!_

"_I'm so sorry, but I must make you go away now"_

_Who ARE you? Why are you in my head? You can't do this to me._

"_My name is Sora and I am taking over now"_

_What do you mean, taking over? This is Me you are talking about! You can't just take over me._

"_Of course I can. All I have to do is bury you in my own memories"_

I suddenly remembered the flashes I had before I passed out earlier. Now it made sense. They were HER memories . . . Sora's memories. She was trying to take over my mind. They wanted my body for her mind. I couldn't let them win . . . at least not without a fight.

_What do you want Sora?_

"_Your mind"_

_But it's MY mind, not yours._

"_It doesn't matter. I am to finally be reunited with my beloved"_

_He's not the man you fell in love with Sora. He's a monster now._

"_HE IS NOT A MONSTER!"_

I felt pain throughout my body. She was punishing me. I had to be more careful.

_A lot of time has passed. The world is different. He is different._

"_How would you know? He needs me"_

_What about me? Can you live with the guilt of destroying an innocent soul?_

Laughter.

"_You think I'm a fool. You cannot play mind games with me. I am too strong for you"_

Oh shit.

"_He doesn't love you"_

_What?_

"_Richard doesn't love you. He doesn't need you"_

_You don't know what you're saying._

"_Yes I do. I know that ever since that night after you captured the Joker, he's never looked at you the same again. You betrayed him Barbara . . . you betrayed his trust. Something a man cannot easily forget"_

_You're lying. He told me that didn't matter. It's in the past._

"_Is it? Are you sure Barbara? Has he told you that he loves you?"_

_No, but I know he does. We are okay now. Even if we aren't together, we still care about each other._

"_If he cares so much about you, then why isn't he here? Why isn't anyone here?"_

_I . . . I don't know. They must not be able to find me._

More laughter.

"_Silly girl. Don't you understand that nobody loves you? No one cares whether you live or die"_

_That's a lie!_

"_Is it?"_

_A LIE!_

"_Maybe you need some time to realize the truth my dear, but it is the truth"_

_They wouldn't . . . they do care . . . don't they? Dick cares . . ._

"_Oh I'm sorry, but honestly, if he did care, he would have done anything and everything possible to find you"_

_She's right. Oh my god, she's right. He would have found me by now . . ._

"_It's time to go now"_

_Where?_

"_Somewhere safe"_

_Will you come with me?_

"_I'll take you there, but then you will have to be alone"_

_That's okay, I've been alone for a long time now . . ._

- - - - - -

Everything was showered in a bright light, brighter than any I had ever seen before. But soon, the light dimmed and I could finally see my surroundings. It was a large forest with tall trees that seemed to reach for the sky. I didn't know where the source of light was coming from, because the forest was so dense, it was impossible for any light to come in from the outside. It was weird how there was just light, as if it had no source. It was then that I noticed that there were many shallow pools surrounding me in the wood. They were all ever so clear that I could count the stones at the bottom of each if I wanted to. I remembered at that moment just how thirsty I was. I kneeled at the nearest pool to get a drink.

_I'm so tired of being here  
Suppressed by all of my childish fears  
And if you have to leave  
I wish that you would just leave  
Because your presence still lingers here  
And it won't leave me alone_

Where was that coming from? It sounded like it was coming from far away, and yet it seemed to be everywhere around me. This was starting to creep me out. I dipped my hands into the first pool and cupped them so that they filled with the cool water. I lifted them and brought the refreshing water to my lips. I looked back down at the pool and gasped. There were images flashing across the surface of the water. It was as if the pool were a mirror into a room.

I stared at the pool and the images became clearer and I gasped again when I realized who I was looking at. It was me when I was barely eight years old. My red hair was in pigtails and my green eyes gleaming. I was laughing and running around . . . no, it couldn't be. I was running around my _mother_. She looked so much more beautiful than I remembered her.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

There was the music again . . . and those voices. Where was I? What was going on? I backed away from the pool and wiped away the tears that had formed in my eyes. This wasn't possible. This couldn't be happening. How could I see the past? This couldn't be real. I crawled up to another pool and looked into it. More images appeared, but they were still too blurry to know what they were. When they cleared I cried out when I saw a very familiar face. It was Dick. We were dancing at one of those stupid charity balls . . . that was such a long time ago.

_You used to captivate me  
By your resonating light  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me_

That damn music. Where was it coming from? This was all too much for me. I couldn't remember how I got there. I couldn't remember anything for that matter. All I could remember was what I was looking at . . . my memories. I was afraid to go up to the next pool, but I knew I had to do it. It was all I had right now. It was the only way I could remember anything. I needed to know what happened to me. The next pool showed me something that made me feel sad for some reason. It was me and Dick again, but our faces were masked. Why were they masked? Oh yes, now I remembered . . . I was Batgirl and he was Robin. We were fighting . . . fighting over something big. Oh god, I remember that night. The night he left. She was right . . . he doesn't love me anymore. I betrayed him.

_These wounds won't seem to heal  
This pain is just too real  
There's just too much that time cannot erase_

_When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
But you still have all of me_

Why wouldn't the music stop? It only made all of this much harder. I was shaking by the time I reached the next pool, apprehensive as to what I would be shown next. What I saw made me shudder. I . . . I mean Batgirl. Batgirl was falling and no one to save her. Then I saw my father holding me. He held me and I slowly slipped into the darkness. I saw everything that happened next. It was all so vivid to me; I knew I had seen this before. Did this mean that it had really happened? Was this my final memory? I finally knew where I was and why I was alone . . .

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone  
And though you're still with me  
I've been alone all along_

I was dead. Everything I knew, everyone I loved was gone. I was all alone. But it's not like I wasn't used to it already . . .

- - - - - -

Barbara's green eyes stared back at Ra's.

"Is it over?" he asked.

Barbara nodded, her red hair falling into her face.

"It's not over Ra's", said a dark voice.

Ra's turned slowly and pushed Barbara behind him.

Bruce walked into the light, followed by Dick and finally Thalia. Ra's stared at the three of them hard until his eyes finally resting on his daughter.

"I see you have finally made your choice, daughter"

Thalia looked at her father sadly, "You made my choice for me father".

Dick's eyes were glued to Barbara. She looked almost perfectly normal. She didn't even look like she had been kept prisoner for over a month now.

"Babs, are you okay?" Dick asked.

Barbara stared back at him and cocked her head to one side, her look changing to one of curiosity.

Bruce watched this and stared hard at Ra's. Then he turned to Barbara.

"Barbara, are you alright?" he asked forcibly.

The redhead turned to look at Bruce, "Is he the detective, my dear?"

The question had been directed at Ra's.

"It is him, my love", Ra's answered.

Bruce's eyes darkened at this exchange.

"What did you do to her?" he asked Ra's in a dangerously low voice.

Dick looked from Bruce to Ra's, and then finally at Barbara. Thalia gasped.

"Father, you didn't", she whispered.

Dick seemed to snap out of whatever he had been thinking, "Didn't do what?" he demanded.

Ra's pushed Barbara forward into the small group. Dick grabbed her and gave her a tight hug.

"Are you alright Barbara?" Dick asked gently.

Barbara looked confused, "Why do you keep calling me Barbara?"

Dick let Barbara go like if she had burned him, "What?"

"My name is Sora. I am Ra's wife", Barbara said slowly.

- - - - - -

Well I hope this clears up any questions as to how the whole ceremony worked to turn Barbara into Sora. That and I like keeping you guys on your toes, it keeps you wanting more! And that is the point, isn't it? Let me know what you think. READ AND REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


	12. Chapter 11: Believe in Me

**Summary: Ra's evil plan must be stopped. Can Dick and Bruce stop him? Or will evil triumph over good? A surprising twist will leave you shocked at the conclusion of this chapter. **

**Author's Note: In this chapter, when I refer to Barbara, keep in mind that she is Sora now. I thought it would be less confusing to keep referring to her as Barbara rather than Sora. Sorry if it doesn't help.**

**Chapter 11: Believe in Me**

Dick stared hard at Barbara for a long time before the shock wore off his face. He turned desperately to Bruce as if he had the answer to their present predicament, but Bruce merely stared at Barbara. It didn't take long for him to figure out what it was that Ra's had done to her. He opened his mouth to say something, but Thalia beat him to it.

"Father, how could you? She was an innocent soul . . ."

Ra's eyes narrowed at his daughter, "I had to find someone who was strong enough to handle the transfer. It was clear to me that you were too weak, and then I remembered that our good friend the Detective had his flock of fledglings. The girl showed promise, and with the right instruction, she could be exactly what I needed".

"The right instruction? Father, you tortured her. You ripped her mind away from her body. You tore away her soul!" Thalia shouted.

"To make room for another mind and soul . . . Sora's", he replied.

Dick couldn't take this anymore. What had they done to his Barbara?

"Bring her back now!" Dick growled as he lunged at Ra's.

Ra's took a step back from the fuming young man and smiled, "I'm afraid I can't do that. The young girl you knew is now lost in some alternate state . . . her mind is trapped in a maze created by her own thoughts and memories. There is no way back from that . . . her mind is too weak and broken down to find it's way back".

Thalia kneeled at her father's feet and grabbed his hand, "Father what has become of you? Where is the father I once knew? He is lost . . ."

"He's not lost, daughter. He realized that he's been fighting for a world that does not exist. Nor shall it ever, for there will always be some battle to be fought", Ra's said, pulling Thalia back up to her feet.

Thalia eyes filled with sadness as she turned away from him, "Then my father truly is lost . . ."

"You have too much compassion my daughter. You sympathize with others in their misfortune, and yet you allowed me to go through with all my plans all these years. You never tried to stop me once", Ra's said.

Thalia turned to face him once again with tears in her eyes, "Yes father, I did try to stop you. I thought that by loving you and showing you my loyalty that you would finally see . . . you would see that there were things worthy of the world you dreamed of".

"There is nothing worthy left in this world. The only thing that was worthy was taken away from me. But now it has returned . . ."

Thalia took in a sharp breathe, "I'm sorry to hear that father", she said in a hurt voice.

Thalia stepped away from her father and stood beside Bruce. Ra's looked at her for a long time before he turned away from the three of them. He grabbed Barbara's hand and pulled her behind him. They walked towards the door and as he reached the threshold, Ra's glanced at Ubu and paused for a moment.

"Kill them. _All _of them".

- - - - - -

Ra's command echoes off the walls of the room. His guards had soon surrounded the three of them. Dick and Bruce instinctively drop into fighting stances, ready to take them on. The first guard charged at Dick, but he trapped the guard's forearm and pivoted, planting his foot firmly into the guard's ribcage and leaving him gasping for air. Two guards came at Bruce, but he unleashed a series of kicks, blocks, and punches which seem effortless yet effective. Another guard grabbed Dick from behind and attempted to choke him, but Dick twisted out of the hold. The guard was soon after thrown over his shoulder. To Dick's surprise, the guard landed on his hands and performed a series of flips with a final spring back off the wall towards Dick. But he should have expected as much, as many of these guards had been members of the League of Assassins.

Dick ducked to avoid a flying roundhouse kick and turned around in time to grab the guard's foot and give it a quick twist, sending the guard spinning into the ground with a sickening crunch. Bruce was fighting with a new set of guards, one of which he backhanded so hard that the force knocked the guard to his knees. Another guard leaped at him, but Bruce rolled to the ground sideways and blocked his attack. Flipping to his feet, Bruce executed a jumping roundhouse kick to knock the guard clean off his feet before smashing to the ground. Bruce landed naturally into a crouched position before standing up straight and advancing forward. Dick followed, knocking down two thugs in the process with a few well aimed punches.

Bruce reached for something in his belt, revealing a few batarangs and bolos. He uses them to take down most of the remaining guards, leaving only a handful and Ubu left. Ubu smiles and removes two ninja swords from their sheaths behind his back. Bruce glances at Dick, who raises his eyebrows at him in surprise. Things were starting to get out of hand. The remaining guards charged at them, with Ubu following.

Dick ducked at the first punch, using the guard's obvious surprise to his advantage to uppercut him and then elbowed him in the ribs. The man crumbled to the ground, coughing up blood. Bruce used his last batarang to stop one guard from attacking Dick from behind, then spun around to block off an attack from another guard. Dick fends off a few more guards to see that there are only two more remaining, both of which are attacking Bruce. Then he spots Ubu going towards Bruce from behind, swords ready.

Dick starts charging at Ubu, when something catches his eye. He bends down to pick up a discarded ninja star. He aims and throws it at Ubu. The ninja star flies through the air and nicks Ubu's arms, causing one of the swords to fly out of his hand and land at Dick's feet. He growls out in anger and turns to face Dick, his other sword still in hand. Dick picks up the sword at his feet, the metal scratching the floor's surface as he pulls it up in front of him. Good thing he knew how to use these things.

- - - - - -

I woke up with a start. I had been asleep for a few hours. I was still exhausted, but felt a little more rested than before. I had been going through all my memories, trying to get to as many of them as I could. This whole ordeal had taken a lot out of me. I couldn't figure out why this had happened to me. The worse part was that I couldn't remember anything without looking into the memories in the pools that surrounded me. There were so many of them, they seemed to go on forever. I went up to the nearest pool and splashed some water on my face. I glanced down at the pool, deciding whether or not I should look into the memory it held.

_It's not like I have anything else to do. My memories are all I have now._

As I peered into the pool, the water began to swirl, revealing the memory it contained. There was ice everywhere, all around. It was so cold that there was a mist covering everything. I saw myself sprinting down a hallway. It looked like I was running away from something. Charging after me came two huge polar bears. I gasped at the sight of them, but kept running with all my strength. I remembered this . . . when Mr. Freeze kidnapped me to try to use me for a transplant to save his wife, Nora. I saw myself franticly push the button for the elevator, then slip in and the doors closing just as the two animals crashed into it. Such a close call . . . The next thing I knew, I was watching as I emerged at the upper level and faced huge flames engulfing the deck. I ran out into the flames.

A few moments later, Batman and Robin emerged from the smoke. Mr. Freeze began shooting his freeze gun at them. The two heroes found refuge, only to be frozen inside of it. I could hear Robin pounding at the ice and yelling. I soon saw the reason for his distress. I had climbed up a ladder to escape the flames, only to be trapped at the top of an oil container. It wouldn't be long before the flames would cause the entire place to blow. An explosion sent me flying into the air, but my vigilante reflexes kicked in and I grabbed a pipe on the way down, swinging around it to slow down my descent. I still landed roughly, crouching over in pain.

The next scene showed me helping a small boy into the cockpit of the Batplane, Robin at the controls with Nora. As we lifted off, pulling Batman along on one of his grapple lines, the entire structure exploded and was engulfed by the sea. I remembered watching the last of the debris disappear and Robin smiling at me and making a joke about not knowing how to swim. Wait . . . I remembered.

A sickening feeling gripped my heart when I finally realized . . . it wasn't Robin who had saved her . . . it had been Dick. Dick had saved her . . . Barbara Gordon, not Batgirl. Dick Grayson had gone to great lengths to save her from Mr. Freeze. And he had done it because he loved her.

_He does love me._

- - - - - -

While Dick and Bruce were fighting off the guards, Thalia had slipped away after her father and Barbara. She knew the corridors and passageways like the back of her hand, having roamed them as her playgrounds for years during her childhood. She crept down a hallway, her hand on the gun at her hip. She stopped abruptly and whipped around at a sound behind her. Nothing. She turned back around, pulling out the gun and raising it in front of her. She continued to sneak down the hallway slowly, her eyes darting all around, searching for any movement. But there would be no need for that.

"Why can't you understand, daughter?" came Ra's voice from far ahead.

Thalia stopped, lowering the gun and hiding it behind her back.

"You need to be stopped father", Thalia said.

Ra's raised an eyebrow, "Do I?"

Thalia stared at him. Dick and Bruce would be here any moment. She had to do this now, before they could stop her.

"Remember when I was little and we lived here for a few years? And every summer you would take me up in the mountains and we would look at the stars? Do you remember father?" she asked.

Ra's nodded, "You always begged me to take you again and again. Once you were old enough, I sent you away to school. You never forgave me for that. You missed the mountains".

"No father. It wasn't the mountains I missed", she said sadly.

Ra's looked up at her.

Thalia looked him in the eye, "It was you that I missed. The same father I miss now", tears were forming in her eyes.

"I'm right here daughter", Ra's moved towards Thalia.

A tear ran down Thalia's cheek, "No father . . . you've been gone a long time now".

BANG!

Ra's face was shocked as he looked down at his chest. Blood was staining his shirt. He grabbed at his chest, only to see his hands come away covered in his own blood. He dropped to his knees. Barbara had run up to his side and grabbed his close to her. She helped him lie down on the cold stone floor. Thalia watched the scene, sobbing openly. Ra's looked at his daughter, his face filled with emotion.

"I'm sorry", whispered Thalia.

Footsteps echoed from behind them. Bruce and Dick burst into the hall, panting.

"We heard a shot", said Bruce.

He was silenced by the scene that met him. Ra's on the ground, gasping with his last breaths, Barbara hugging him to her chest, and Thalia sobbing and throwing the gun away like it was the devil itself.

Dick went up to Ra's and kneeled next to him, "How do we get Barbara back?"

It took an enormous amount of strength for Ra's to lift his head up and look at the boy. He smiled and motioned him closer. Dick leaned in.

"She has to believe . . . in herself and in you. She loves you. Sora told me she loves you very much. It was her love that made her so strong. And it will be her love that will bring her back".

And with that the man known as the Demon's Head died.

Barbara looked up at Dick and said, "Call for her".

- - - - - - -

"BARBARA!" the name echoed all around me.

Who was calling me? I couldn't see anyone for miles around. Where was it coming from? I scanned the wood all around me, but I saw nothing but more and more pools and trees as far as the eye could see. I looked above me as well, only to see the leaves from all the trees. I walked towards where the voice was coming from, or at least where I thought it was coming from. It seemed to be coming from one of the pool at the far edge of the wood. I walked faster as I tried to reach it before the echo faded. I stopped in front of a pool and saw that it had a mist surrounding it. Next to it laid a burned out torch in the grass. I suddenly remembered that it had been in my hand when I arrived here. I guess I had left it there while I had been exploring the memories all around me.

_Hold on a second. That voice . . . it sounds familiar._

I knew that voice. It was Dick's voice. Where was he? I peered into the pool, but the mist did not clear around it.

"_Barbara"_, it was like a whisper coming from the water.

It was Dick. I dropped to my knees and yelled into the water.

"Dick, I'm here! In here! DICK!"

No answer. He couldn't hear me. It was then that I heard another voice.

"_He doesn't love you"_

The voice was inside my head.

_Yes he does! He risked everything for me!_

"_But he also left you without saying good-bye. He left you all by yourself"_

No, that wasn't true.

_That's not true. He told me it wasn't my fault! He left because he needed to figure things out. He and Bruce . . . they were having problems._

Laughter.

"_He was having problems with Bruce . . . because of you. You betrayed him. He simply blamed Bruce for dragging you into a dangerous situation"_

_No! Bruce didn't drag me into anything. I made the choice. It was MY choice! Dick knew that. He was just mad at Bruce._

"_If he knew that, then why would he leave you? He did leave you"_

I finally saw it. I finally knew why.

_He didn't leave because he didn't love me. He didn't even leave because he was mad at me. He left because it was all too much for him. It was too much, living in constant criticism and the shadow of Bruce. I know now because I lived it. I know what it's like knowing you can handle the job and then being shot down every time. Nothing you do is ever right and you just have to escape. He couldn't stand Bruce controlling his life anymore. So he rebelled . . . he left. It was the only thing Bruce couldn't stop him from doing. _

"_You don't know what you're saying"_

_Yes I do. He does love me. You're little game is over. I'm going back home._

"_And how do you plan on doing that?"_

"By doing this!" I shouted out loud.

I whipped around a dived into the pool. The last thing I heard was screaming coming from behind me.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

It felt like I was falling forever, suspended in time. Memories flashed before me eyes.

I was five years old, talking to my dad.

"_Daddy, do you believe in Magic?"_

"_Sometimes it's hard not to, sweetheart"_

Now I was ten and upset.

"_I didn't mean to hit him dad, honest"_

"_That's not the story I heard Barbara" _

Fifteen and laughing.

"_These stupid parties are so dumb, right Grayson?"_

"_They're not that bad"_

"_And why is that?"_

"_Because of you silly"_

I was twenty years old.

"_I made reservations at this really great place for the weekend"_

"_Dick, you didn't have to"_

"_I want this weekend to be special Babs"_

"_It already is"_

The night that Dick left.

"_You know how much I love you, right Babs?"_

"_Cut it out Grayson, you're making me blush"_

"_I'm serious"_

"_So am I. If you must know, yes. And I feel the same way"_

Just and Dick and I were about to kiss there was a flash of bright light.

- - - - - -

A loud groaned escaped my lips and my hand went straight to my head . . . huge headache. My eyes blinked open. There was a face staring down at me, a concerned look on their face. I stared up at them and a smile crept on my lips.

"Dick?"

Dick's face broke out into a grin and he hugged me tight. I could see Bruce standing behind him.

"Are you okay? Can you remember what happened to you?" Dick asked gently.

I nodded, my head still pounding. Dick helped me up to my feet. I saw Ra's dead body on the ground, Thalia quietly staring at it.

I stared at the young woman, "Looks like everyone won their battles", I said quietly.

Bruce glanced at Thalia himself, "She's had a rough time. What she did . . . it took a lot of courage. But he left her with no other choice".

I nodded again, understanding fully what had happened now.

Dick held my hand tight as the four of us made our way out of the castle.

"Ready to go home?" he asked me.

I grinned at him and kissed his cheek, "I thought you'd never ask".

Dick smiled and pulled me in for a kiss. This time I didn't pull back. I pressed him closer to me and kissed him back.

- - - - - -

Looks like this is the end of our adventure . . . sniffs. I know it's sad, but don't despair. Stay tuned for the Epilogue. Hope you enjoyed the story. Let me know your thoughts on it . . . maybe I'll write some more. READ AND REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


	13. Epilogue

**Disclaimer:** All characters are not owned by me and are used without permission solely for the entertainment of fan-fiction readers.

**Author's Note:** Sadly this is the end of 'If Only', but I hope that you enjoyed it and that you found it to be consistent with the Batman universe. This final chapter just kind of wraps things up a few months after the whole ordeal in Romania.

**Epilogue**

**Six Months Later**

I took in a deep breath and let the night air fill my lungs. I stared out into the night, taking in the skyline. If you knew the right place to look at it and you stood there long enough . . . Gotham could be peaceful, even for just one moment. It was wonderful.

My first few months back after the Romania incident were hard. I had gone through both mental and emotional torture and that wasn't something you could just bounce back from. It has taken a lot of hard work with Leslie to get me back in a healthy mind state. There had been memories from Sora left behind in my mind and they had caused terrible nightmares, not to mention my old recurring nightmares as well. After I had faced them though, it was like they had never existed.

Then I had to re-start my training. Not from square one, but I had to get back into fighting shape. Bruce had been very stern about wanting me to be ready before I took to the streets again. I think it was the first time he and Dick had agreed on something in a long time. Thank god Alfred was there for coffee and hot cocoa breaks. I had been determined and committed to getting myself ready to be back in action. It had been tough, but I hadn't lost my touch. Bruce had let me out on patrol a few days earlier and it was like I had never been gone. It surprised me how much I had missed it . . . swinging through the night, the mystery of the unknown in the air. I lived for that.

Things with me and Bruce were good. He had been impressed with my determination to get back in the suit, not to mention how fast I had gotten through my training. He knew how bad I wanted it . . . and he knew now that I was my own person. No longer did he bully me around or try to treat me like a child. I had finally earned what I had wanted all this time . . . his trust and respect. He respected me as a true member of the team, something that had taken both Dick and I years to obtain. And Bruce knew he could trust me to make the right decision at any time, that I was ready at a moment's notice. Oh there were still moments when we "disagreed", but it was something that came with working with the Bat, something that would never change. But he was trying and that was what mattered. Of course he would never admit to any of all this, but I knew.

Things with Tim were the same as always. When we got back from Romania, he had kept us all entertained for hours telling stories about working with Clark. And I doubt we will ever hear the end of it. I swear that kid reminds me so much of Dick when he was Robin: determined, confident, smart, talented . . . god was he talented. Tim was going places, of that I can assure you. Whether it be in or out of the suit, he would make it big.

Things with Dick and Bruce weren't great, but they were getting better. The whole situation in Romania had shown them that they were still the same two people with the same goal: to fight injustice, to help people, and to not become what they were fighting. There were still a lot of wounds to heal and their trust wasn't like it had been before, but they were working on it. They knew how to work incredibly together and that helped a lot, because the trust would soon follow. They complemented each other, no matter how much they wanted to deny it. Dick was stopping by the Manor more often and Bruce never said it, but I knew he was glad. He didn't show it much, but he loved Dick more than anything. But don't tell him I told you that.

As for me and Dick . . . well, things were pretty good. We knew we had made some mistakes in the past, but we also knew how we felt and didn't need to beat around the bush as they say. We could be straightforward and open with our feelings, which was a huge step and a big change from before. No more lies, no more pretending, no Batgirl and Robin in the way, just me and Dick. It was hard sometimes, knowing who was behind the mask and that we were both out there risking our lives every night. But we trusted each other's abilities and decisions out there, which made things a lot easier.

I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard someone approaching from behind me. An evil smile crept onto my lips as I realized who it was. I turned around to find Nightwing face to face with me.

"Having a pleasant evening?" he quipped.

"Looks like it just got better", I said suggestively.

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, "By all means, let me make it even better"

Nightwing moved in to kiss me, but I blocked it with my hand. He stared at me.

"Not with the masks on, remember Short Pants?" I teased.

If there was anything I had learned being a vigilante, it was never to mix business with pleasure.

He pouted, "Yes, but I also remember you agreed not to use the nicknames anymore"

"And take the joy out of my nightlife? Never!"

Nightwing was about to make a comeback when my communicator went off.

"_Batgirl, I need your help at the docks. I uncovered some smugglers trying to sneak out priceless artifacts"_

I grabbed my communicators, "Copy, I'll be there in five minutes"

"_Bring Nightwing with you"_

Nightwing lifted his arms up to question me. I giggled.

"Copy, _we_ will be there in five minutes"

"_Batman out"_

I put my communicator away and laughed at the look on Nightwing's face.

"How did he know I was here?"

I tried to keep a straight face, "Common, you of all people should know. He's _Batman_. He knows everything"

Nightwing grumbled as we jumped off the rooftop.

- - - - - -

**A Few Days Later**

My breathing was heavy, but controlled. My feet hit the pavement, keeping in rhythm. I was starting to sweat, but I still had a few more minutes to go, so I continued my jog down the street. I could see my apartment building coming into view far ahead. My mp3 player blared in my ears, me feet falling in time to the beat.

After a few more minutes, I was at the entrance to my apartment building. I used my key to let myself in, checking my mailbox as I walked through the lobby. I pressed the '_up'_ button at the elevator and waited. The '_up'_ signal flashed on and the metals doors slid open. I walked into the elevator, pressed the '_6'_ button, and leaned back against the wall. The elevator door's slid open again and I walked down the hall to my apartment, # 614. I picked up the newspaper propped up against the door before I pushed the key into the lock and after a loud _click_, the door opened. I walked in and dropped my keys into a basket on a tall table next to the front door. I tossed the newspaper on top of the coffee table in my living room, and made my way into the kitchen.

I put a pot of coffee on the stove before moving into the bedroom. Discarded clothing littered the floor and I removed my workout outfit and grabbed a clean towel. I popped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. Ten minutes later I emerged, wrapped in my towel. I dressed quickly into sweats and a tank top before I went into the kitchen. I made myself some scrambled eggs before removing the coffee pot off the stove. After pouring myself a cup of coffee, I grabbed my plate, and went into the living room. I plopped onto the couch and placed my plate and mug on the table, after which I grabbed the newspaper and began reading. I sipped my coffee, read, and munched on my breakfast for about ten minutes before I finished off both the eggs and coffee. Satisfied with having finished with the paper, I flipped on the T.V. to the morning news and watched that for about 20 more minutes before I got bored with that.

I stood up and made my way to the bathroom again. When I opened the door, a yelp escaped my lips because standing there in my bathroom was none other than Dick Grayson clad in nothing more than a towel wrapped around his hips. He grinned at me and shook his head, sending water spraying everywhere from his wet hair.

"Morning beautiful", he said.

I glared at him, "Jesus Dick, you scared me"

"My apologies, _Madame_", Dick said with a wink.

I punched him lightly on the shoulder, "You're such a dork", I said before I burst into giggles.

"But it is my dorkiness which amuses you", he replied.

I messed up his hair with my hand and sent more water flying, "Yes, you're _my_ dork"

"Do I have Barbara Gordon stamped on me already?" Dick joked.

I crossed my arms, "Very funny"

Dick rolled his eyes, "I thought you liked the dorkiness"

I wrapped my arms around him, "It's growing on me"

"Oh really", Dick said as he closed the space between us.

I kissed him lightly on the lips before pulling my head back, "How would I amuse myself if it were not for your dorky self, Short Pants?"

"You're totally right", he said as he pulled me close and kissed me deeply.

_This I could get used to. Things were going to be just fine._

- - - - - -

Well the end is finally here. I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did. I wasn't easy at times, but I got it done and that's what counts! READ & REVIEW!

- Lady Artemis -


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